


Authorette’s Vanity Shorts

by authorette



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, general ramblings, it is me after all, lots of fluff, mostly silly stuff, one shots, probably some smut, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2020-09-24 15:08:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20360551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authorette/pseuds/authorette
Summary: A place to keep my one shots and shorts.





	1. Take Off Your Shirt

Prompt 38 on Tumblr for @evolveposts

**Take off your shirt **

“Wow!” Vanessa rakes her eyes over Charity’s outfit.

“You always say that,” Charity replies, rolling her eyes at Vanessa in the mirror. 

“Well it’s always true.” Vanessa walks up behind her and after a quick glance over her shoulder to the open door, to make sure no little or not-so-little people are peeping, she steps behind Charity and slides her palms around the tight jeans covering her ass, pressing up against the silky red shirt she’s tucked into them.

“I see you’ve got a big night planned yourself,” Charity teases, looking Vanessa’s flannel pyjamas up and down.

Vanessa grins, not in the least embarrassed. “We’re having a pyjama and Disney night,” she announces. “And maybe a romcom or two when the boys have gone to bed.” 

“You really are a wild one.” Charity turns to face her. “I’d better tell Sarah to keep an eye on you.”

“Har har.” Vanessa sliders her arms around Charity’s waist and leans up, but Charity leans back.

“I’ve just done my makeup!” she objects. “Taxi will be here any minute!”

Vanessa narrows her eyes, and leans in again, grinning against Charity’s lips when she makes a show of squawking in protest but doesn’t pull away. “Got to make sure none of the strippers turn your head tonight.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “As if. Like I’d be drooling over strippers with your sister standing over me.”

Vanessa pinches her side gently. “Good to know that’s the only reason you’re staying aware from strippers.”

“Definitely.” Charity smirks that smirk that makes Vanessa’s stomach flip, the one she shoots Vanessa across the bar sometimes when she’s letting her know that she would very much like to sneak off to the cellar with her. “Otherwise I’d be straight in there. You know me. Not like I have a gorgeous, amazing, hot fiancé waiting for me at home or anything.”

Vanessa ducks her head into Charity’s shoulder. Sometimes she still get taken aback by Charity’s openness with her feelings. Despite initially spending months playing hard to get, once Charity opened that gate, it just kept coming, but it still makes Vanessa feel like she’s floating every time. 

Before Vanessa can respond, someone clears their throat behind them and they turn.

“Everyone’s here,” Sarah says. “You look lovely, Granny.”

“Enough of the granny! It’s my hen do and I want to feel young.” Charity presses another kiss to Vanessa’s lips before peering in the mirror and wiping at the edges of her lipstick. “Right. Time to enjoy my last night out as a bachelorette.”

*** 

Chas and Tracey had loudly and repeatedly declared that they intended to confiscate Charity’s phone _”so she doesn’t spend all night mooning after you instead of having fun”_, so Vanessa’s not expecting to hear from her. Charity’s going to be stopping at the pub if it gets later that eleven, which Vanessa pretty much knew from the minute she saw Tracey’s outfit was going to be the case, so her and Faith don’t wake up their array of kids coming home at all hours.

In all honesty, both of them could kind of take or leave this whole hen do thing. But Tracey and Rhona are adamant about wanting to throw Vanessa one, since she’s never had one. Then Chas announced that she was desperate for a night out after being home with baby Ruth for months. And then Tracey started complaining that she should be able to go to both hen dos, and so it turned out that their dos have been planned for consecutive weekends.

So tonight, Vanessa is curled up with the kids in her pjs watching _Mulan_ and trying and failing to get them to pick the cucumber and carrot sticks she’s chopped up over the crisps that Chas chucked them when she came to collect Charity. Even Noah is curled up in one of the sofas, and even though he’s glued to his phone, he’s still there with them. 

She gets a couple of texts from Tracey when they get to the first bar, and sees on her instagram story that they’ve apparently got the shots in already. She rolls her eyes fondly. Hungover Charity is almost as bad as flu-ridden Charity.

Later, when she’s just settling back onto the sofa having put the little ones to bed, and her and Sarah are debating the merits of _Bridget Jones_ versus _The Proposal_, her phone begins buzzing and she sees Charity’s name flash up.

“Got your phone back did you?” Vanessa says as she answers, smiling. 

Static. But then it’s Chas’s voice on the other end. “Vanessa? Have you heard from Charity?”

Vanessa straightens up. “No,” she says slowly. “Why would I have heard from her? You have her phone remember? What’s happened?”

Chas sighs. “I went outside for two minutes to call Paddy and make sure both him and Ruth were still alive and when I got back inside, she was gone!”

“Well, where is she?” Vanessa’s not worried, not really. She’s seen Charity pull off incredible stunts when drunk, including but not limited to talking them into a posh restaurant with a four month waiting list with no reservation, talking a policeman out of giving Vanessa speeding ticket, and directing Vanessa the whole way back to Emmerdale from Cornwall last summer when the sat nav gave up, despite having finished off half a bottle of gin before they left “because it would be waste to just bring it back with barely anything left in it.”

So she’s more than capable, but still, Vanessa doesn’t like the idea of her being off on her own. 

“Look, we’ll go find her and I’ll let you know when we’ve got her, ok?”

Vanessa sighs and mutters a distracted “thanks”, before looking up at two worried faces.

“Is Granny Charity ok?” Sarah asks. She was a bit gutted not to be able to go on the hen do, but Vanessa’s one next week starts with a spa visit and afternoon tea, and she’s coming to that one instead. 

Vanessa had expected it to be harder, moving in with a teenage girl, but in all honesty, Faith has more tantrums than that girl.

“Yeah, she’s alright. Just having a bit too much fun.” She tilts her head. “Will we go with Bridget?” 

She does a decent job of pretending her mind is on the film and only checking her phone every five minutes for an update, but she’s still chewing her lip running through what kind of trouble Charity could be getting into until she hears back.

They’re in the middle of the scene where Bridget is trying to cook her birthday dinner when the phone rings, and Vanessa quickly steps out of the living room to answer.

“Did you find her? Is she ok?”

“Oh, we found her alright.” There’s something in Chas’s tone that worries Vanessa. She’s using her voice, the _you’ve missed another shift_ voice. 

“Is she ok?” Vanessa starts running through in her mind who she could call to come and sit with the kids while she drives to Leeds. She loves Sarah and Noah, but leaving them alone with the wee ones on a Saturday night is maybe a bit far.

“She’s fine,” Chas says, and Vanessa can tell even through the phone she’s raised her eyebrow. 

“What happened?” Vanessa shakes her head. “Can I talk to her?”

“Honestly Vanessa, she’s a bit worse for wear. Obviously can’t handle her drink anymore.”

In the background, Vanessa suddenly hears Charity screech. _”Vanessa? That’s my fiancé! She’s a doctor. For animals!”_

Vanessa grins and relaxes into the wall, feeling suddenly mushy and ridiculous. This mad, loud, fun, whirlwind of a woman is going to be her _wife_. 

“Tell her I love her, ok?”

Chas makes a gagging sound. “I’ll pass. We’ve already had two drunken lectures on how much she loves you and the last one was starting to get seriously x rated before we shut it down. I can’t handle another one.”

“Fine,” Vanessa grins. “Well, take care of her. And don’t lose her again.”

“Yes ma’am,” Chas replies.

“And watch Tracey. Those two egg each other on.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Chas mutters darkly. “Right, best go.”

Vanessa heads back through and smiles when she notices that the movie is paused even though Sarah has dozed off. 

“Ta,” she says to Noah, who shrugs.

“Mum ok?”

“Having a ball by the sounds of thing,” Vanessa replies, and smiles to herself when she sees his little nod of satisfaction.

*** 

The next morning, she lets everyone sleep in a bit, before rounding the troops up to go for a fry at the pub. As expected, the attendees of the previous night’s festivities are looking worse for wear.

Chas, white faced and bleary eyed, is leaning heavily on the bar drinking coffee. “It’s not fair,” she says in response to Vanessa’s “Good morning”. “I haven’t had a drink in months and I only had about three. My mother had half the Prosecco in Leeds and she’s looking ten times more chipper than I am.”

Vanessa laughs. “And where is my wife to be?”

Chas pulls a face. “About that…”

“Mummy!” Moses exclaims, and Vanessa looks up to see Charity, looking even worse than Chas, slowly edging into the pub. 

Behind her, Tracey follows like a sickly shadow, last nights mascara smeared around her eyes.

“And this, children, is why we don’t binge drink,” Vanessa smirks at Noah and Sarah, who both grin into their cokes.

Moses rounds the bar and throws his arms around Charity’s legs, head leaning against her stomach. “I’ve missed you mummy!”

Vanessa grins. He’s been saying that constantly, even when they only leave the room to go to the loo, ever since he saw Sarah doing it to Debbie last time she came to visit. He’s like a little sponge, copying the big kids.

Charity pats his head but flinches when he kisses her stomach. “Oww!”

Vanessa frowns. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Charity gently pushes Moses away from her and steers him back towards the table. “Chas, I need coffee.” She moves behind Moses, and her hand touches her side.

Vanessa rises from her chair and heads her off. “What’s up with your side?”

“Nothing!” Charity gives her one of her wide smiles and plants a kiss on her mouth but Vanessa refuses to be distracted. 

She reaches out and touches her hand to Charity’s hip and Charity jumps backwards, yelping.

Vanessa puts her hands on her hips. “Right, what’s going on?”

Charity sighs, glancing over her shoulder at Tracey who looks guilty and isn’t making eye contact. 

“Can you two watch the little ones quickly?” Vanessa asks Noah and Sarah. “We’re going to pop through the back for a minute.”

“Oh, are we?” Charity replies, but she has a sheepish, skittish look about her and even though she dramatically roles her eyes she spins on her heels and turns back towards the bar.

Tracey steps aside, head down, and Vanessa tenses her jaw, trying not to think the worst, her hand twitching to her own side and covering her scar.

Charity doesn’t look around until they’re in the back, and when she does, she crosses her arms across her chest defensively. “It’s nothing.”

“Then why are you flinching away when I get near your stomach?” Vanessa says, patience thinning. “Are you hurt?” She reaches out and tilts Charity’s chin up so they can make eye contact, and she sees Charity soften when she sees that Vanessa is genuinely worried. 

“Just, don’t freak out, ok?”

“Charity, for god’s sake, just take off your shirt!”

Charity sighs again, but Vanessa recognises that she’s doing it to cover her anxiety, and pulls up her top.

Vanessa gasps.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Charity mutters.

Vanessa takes a step closer. “I don’t even know what I’m looking at.” 

“You’re looking at what happens when Charity drinks three people’s share of the tequila shots and then disappears,” Tracey says from the doorway.

“Er, excuse me, Mrs,” Charity says, dropping her shirt. “It was you who kept saying that I should do something to prove how I felt about Vanessa.”

“I didn’t say _get a tattoo_,” Tracey exclaims.

“You did so!” Charity argues back. “You said that if it was you, you’d want someone to get your name tattooed on their arm!”

Tracey draws her brows together and tilts her head. “I don’t remember that?”

“Maybe because you were as bladdered as she was!” Chas says behind her Tracey, clearly deciding that it seems safe to enter. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this last night!” Vanessa gasps, moving to Charity’s side and pulling up her shirt again. “I mean, what is it?”

Charity hides her face in her hand and groans loudly. “I asked for _Ness_, alright? Except he misheard me-“

“-or you were slurring,” Chas interjects.

“-and heard _Nessie_, and, low and behold…”

Vanessa doesn’t move for a second, and then she can’t help it anymore. 

She bursts out laughing. She laughs so hard tears start rolling down her face. Charity’s eyes widen, but Vanessa doesn’t have the breath in her to speak.

“Babe,” Charity says when she manages to calm down, but that just sets her off again. 

“You, you have…” she wheezes. “The Loch Ness _monster_…on your hip!”

“Alright,” Charity gripes, but Vanessa can tell shes relieved. “Some girls love tattoos on their girlfriends.”

“And are those usually tattoos of tiny fictional lizards?” Tracey asks. She’s grinning widely. 

“Shut up,” Charity replies, but tugs Vanessa into her non-tender side. “And anyway, big words for the woman who got Winnie the Pooh tattooed on her back!”

Tracey’s face falls. “What?!” She pushes past them to the hall and up to the bathroom.

Vanessa turns to Charity, eyes wide. “You are joking, right?”

“Course,” Charity replies, an evil glint in her eye. “And good thing too. Imagine what he might have tattooed on her if he’d misheard that one!”


	2. You’ve Been Drinking Tonight Haven’t You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 13 for us1er1na1me1 on tumblr: You’ve Been Drinking Tonight Haven’t You.
> 
> CW: explicit sexual content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this and then it occurred to me that it might be weird to write smut in response to a prompt?! So sorry if it is, when I start writing these two they just start going at it...

**13\. You’ve Been Drinking Tonight Haven’t You**

Charity’s phone buzzes just as she’s flicking off the bathroom light and walking on her socked feet across to the bedroom. 

She hurriedly closes the door so the sound of her voice doesn’t wake the boys after all the time it took her to get them down earlier, and presses the green button.

“Hey you,” Vanessa drawls on the other end.

Charity drops onto the bed. “Hey yourself. How was your fancy dinner?”

Vanessa makes a dismissive noise on the other end of the phone that makes Charity raise her eyebrows, because not two days ago Vanessa was telling her that while the conferences themselves can often be a drag, at least the food is usually good.

“It was fine,” Vanessa says, and there’s something loose in her voice that Charity instantly recognises.

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?” So much for that health kick she’s been on recently. 

“Maybe,” Vanessa giggles a little on the other end of the phone. “Only a little.”

“Well you’ve always been a lightweight. A little is all it takes.” Not that that’s surprising. There’s nothing of her. 

Vanessa lets out another giggle, and Charity’s mood lifts. It’s weird. She’s been alone a lot in her life. She’s not someone who needs to be in a relationship, has never been very good at them.

But Vanessa’s done something to her. Broken her. Because now she gets mopey when Vanessa goes away on a conference for three days. Misses her and her snuffly breathing in bed. Misses her milky cups of tea in the morning and the way she lines Charity’s slippers nearly up next to her own against the wall before bed.

But hearing her voice lifts Charity’s mood straight away, as dumb as that is.

“What’re you doing?”

Charity rolls her eyes fondly. “Talking to you, you drunkard.” She trails her fingers across Vanessa’s pillow, picking at a light blonde hair left behind. “Just come up to bed actually. I’m exhausted.”

Vanessa lets out an audible breath. “So you’re in the bedroom?”

“Yes?” Charity frowns. “How much have you had again?”

“What are you wearing?” Vanessa husks, and things suddenly become clear to Charity.

Nothing gets Vanessa going like a drink. That very first night in the cellar should really have been a clue, with the way Vanessa’s face had flushed and her pupils had blown wide open and her body had trembled against Charity’s as they kissed and kissed and kissed.

Charity has learned that Vanessa likes to be taken when she’s had a glass or two; likes Charity to push her up against the front door and bite her neck, likes to feel Charity’s weight on her as she presses into the mattress.

Charity can hear in the breathless quality of Vanessa’s voice that she’s turned on right now. 

And there’s something about it, about the way that Vanessa is sitting there in her London hotel room thinking about her, that heats Charity’s blood as well.

Not that it usually takes much to get her going where Vanessa’s concerned anyway.

“I was actually just getting undressed,” she fibs, because she’s actually been in her pyjamas for hours, but that’s not exactly sexy. “It’s pretty hot up here tonight.”

Vanessa hums into the phone. “I wish I could touch you,” she whispers, and Charity instantly feels that soft feeling well up inside of her that seems to be her constant companion nowadays.

“Me too, babe.” She lifts her hips and wriggles out of her soft cotton bottoms. “Now tell me about you. What are you wearing?”

“Your Little Mix T-shirt,” Vanessa replies, and Charity’s jaw drops a little because she’s been bloody looking for that and didn’t even notice Vanessa swiping it while she was packing. “And nothing else.”

Well. Charity supposed she can forgive her just this once. “You little thief,” she purrs into the phone, sliding down so she’s almost lying on the bed. “What am I going to do with you?”

It’s suggestive enough that Vanessa’s breath catches, and Charity bites her lip as she realises they’re actually going to do this.

This is new. They’ve been apart several times: Vanessa has to do quite a bit of CPD which always seems to be bloody miles away, and Charity’s been up to Scotland a few times now to visit Debbie, and they’ve sent their fair share of naughty messages to each other. One night, when Charity was last at Debbie’s, Vanessa sent her a series of pictures of her slowly getting undressed.

But this, this is new. 

“I was hoping you’d tell me that, Vanessa replies, somehow managing to sound shy and suggestive all at once.

“Jesus Ness,” Charity groans. She can already feel herself getting wet and they’ve barely done anything.

“I was thinking about the other day,” Vanessa whispers, like she’s a teenager secretly on the phone to a forbidden lover instead of a grownup calling her fiancée, “when you came to bring me lunch.”

“Which time was that?” Charity asks, like she doesn’t know full well.

“When you helped me _water Rhona’s plants_.”

Charity wrinkles her nose. “That sounds like a terrible innuendo.”

“Stop teasing!” Vanessa huffs. “You know what I’m talking about.”

Grinning, Charity shifts on the mattress. It’s so easy sometimes to get Vanessa riled up. She likes to do this, push her buttons a little in the lead up. Makes it all the more satisfying when she lets it all go.

“_Ohh_,” she replies, playing up her tone of realisation. “You mean the time you pounced on me on poor Rhona’s sofa?”

“I did not!” Vanessa splutters even though she absolutely _ had_.

All Charity had intended was to bring Vanessa a sandwich. But she’d caught her sorting out Rhona’s plants and mail, and once Charity had shut the door to the vet office, it had been Vanessa who pushed her down on the sofa and kneeled between her legs.

“You definitely did,” Charity teases. “Couldn’t wait, could you?”

“You drive me crazy,” Vanessa sighs, and Charity can imagine her face from her tone: flushed cheeks and blown pupils, biting her lip in that shy way she has that has been driving Charity crazy since that first afternoon fumble. 

There’s a pause. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Charity thinks about teasing some more, making Vanessa spell out exactly what she wants. But she doesn’t take it for granted, the way Vanessa lets Charity take her out of her comfort zone, and after everything Vanessa has shared with her about her past sexual experiences, the last thing Charity wants is to make her fee uncomfortable about asking for what she wants.

“It’s easy,” she says instead, trying to sound reassuring. “All you have to do is _exactly_ what I say.” She grins when Vanessa’s breath hitches in response. “Think you can handle that?”

Vanessa lets out a little moan, and Charity trails her fingers down her legs. She’s ready to get this show on the road, tiredness pushed aside.

“Tell me, Charity,” Vanessa sighs, and it sends a shiver through Charity like she’s right there with Vanessa. “Tell me what to do.”

Charity closes her eyes, imaging Vanessa lying there, phone clutched in her left hand on the bed, ready to follow her lead. “Spread your legs,” she says and it comes out huskier than she intended. “Touch yourself, slowly.”

Charity follows her own directions, trailing her fingers down, and groans as she slides against her own wetness.

“Let me hear you, Ness,” she moans, “let me be there with you.”

“Charity,” Vanessa whimpers into her ear, and the sound of it makes Charity clench.

“Are you wet?” she asks redundantly, because she can picture how slippery Vanessa will be between her legs right now, how easily she’ll be able to slide two fingers inside herself.

“So wet.” 

“Slowly,” Charity grits out, trying to follow her own advice and not grind down against her fingers.

“Trying,” Vanessa pants. “I’m close already.”

“You’d better try harder.” Charity hisses as she eases a finger inside herself. It’s so strange, how close she feels to Vanessa right now. How weirdly intimate it is to hear Vanessa’s breathing change in her ear as she touches herself. 

It’s only been a couple of days since they last had sex, but Charity feels as wound up as if it’s been weeks, riding that delicious edge much quicker than she wants. 

But it sounds like Vanessa can’t hold on much longer either, despite Charity’s directions. No surprise, especially if she’s had wine tonight. Quick and easy, that’s how her fiancée comes on nights like this, usually in the midst of a sloppy kiss or with her knees pressed against Charity’s ears, back arching.

“Charity,” she whines again, and Charity gulps, gripping the phone hard. “God, it’s so good.”

“Wait for it,” she manages, her own voice only shaking a little. “It’ll be so good, Vanessa.”

“Are you, _oh god_, are you close too?” Vanessa gasps, and Charity smiles because even like this, miles apart, Vanessa needs to look after her, needs to know she’s having a good time too.

“Yes,” she replies, and rubs herself a little harder, shivering and gasping in response. “God, yes.”

“Together?” Vanessa pants, and Charity can feel it, how she’s _right there_.

“Let go, Vanessa,” she chokes out, and the reaction is almost instantaneous: Vanessa cries out, so helplessly and rawly that Charity knows not a single part is for show, and that’s all it takes for own hips to lift and her finger sit press down and her eyes to roll back as she comes.

“God,” she manages, wiping her sticky fingers on the duvet. “That was-“

“So good,” Vanessa sighs, voice thick and relaxed.

“We should do that more often,” Charity decides, rolling onto Vanessa’s side so she can inhale the smell of her shampoo.

“Mmh hmm,” Vanessa mumbles.

“Ness?” 

“Love you too,” Vanessa replies, and Charity hears her breathing even out.

Charity snorts. Every time. Two glasses of wine, one orgasm, and she’s out for the count.

“Drunkard,” Charity whispers, and although she feels silly, she places her phone on the pillow next to her, and listens to the soft snores coming through the speaker while she turns off the light.


	3. I’m Pregnant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 50 - I’m Pregnant. For xoxxokenii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I address this prompt? Perhaps.Did I cheat a bit by not actually using the line in the story? Probably.
> 
> Here you go anyway.

**50\. I’m Pregnant**

The gravel crunches behind her and Charity doesn’t need to turn round to know who’s there. After all these years, after all the crises they’ve faced together, she knows the sounds of Vanessa coming to find her like she knows the rhythm of her own heart.

“Took you a while. Losing your touch?” She doesn’t quite manage to keep her the joking tone of voice from wavering. Somewhere over the years she’s got less good at putting on an act.

“Thought you might need some time to calm down first,” Vanessa replies, clambering up onto the surface of the picnic table next to Charity and placing her feet on the bench. 

Charity shakes her head, sighing. “I can’t believe this is happening. I thought it was going to be different, I really thought I had managed not to screw it up this time.”

“Charity, this isn’t your fault!” Vanessa’s fingers tangle with her own.

“Isn’t it?” She shakes her head. “Who’s fault is it then? Look at my kids. First Debbie, now Noah… All following my shitty example.” She squeezes Vanessa’s hand but can’t bring herself to look at her yet. “I really thought I could do right by him. I thought his life was going to be better than this. First one to go to uni and all that.”

“Noah is going to have an amazing life,” Vanessa says firmly, and Charity feels the corners of her mouth twitch despite the cloud hanging over her, because Vanessa is using her ‘take on the world’ voice, the one she always uses when Charity’s having one of her dramas. “You will make sure of that. We both will.”

“She wants to keep it!” Charity half shouts, turning to her wife for the first time. “And he’s going to want to drop out and help her. So much for making something of himself.”

“Of course he wants to help,” Vanessa says gently. “That’s how you raised him. To take responsibility.”

Charity snorts. “Apparently not enough responsibility to use a condom.”

Vanessa tilts her head. “I’m not sure either of us are in a position to give lectures on the responsible use of contraception, are we?” 

“I just wanted him to get a shot at something better than this,” Charity sighs. “I wanted him to be less like me.”

“Hey!” Vanessa nudges in closer. “You are amazing, Charity. You’ve been through so much and you’ve come through it. You run your own business. You’re an amazing mum.” She smiles. “Not a half bad wife either.”

A reluctant smile stretches Charity’s face. “You’d better stop before I swoon.”

Vanessa turns so she’s fully facing Charity and takes both her hands in her own. “I agree it’s not ideal. But they know they’ve made a mistake. And they came to us for help. Don’t you see how different that means he already is? He trusts us to help him.”

_Like no one ever helped you_ echoes behind her words.

“I guess,” Charity sighs. “I just feel like I’ve failed.”

“This doesn’t have to be the end,” Vanessa says firmly. “Noah’s only got one year of uni left. It’ll be months before the baby’s here. We can help. Emily can move in with us.”

The tears come so suddenly she doesn’t even have time to turn her face away. Her throat closes up and she squeezes her eyes together but it’s too late.

“Oh Charity,” Vanessa whispers, and tugs her close. “It’ll be ok, I promise.”

Charity breathes in, tucked against Vanessa’s neck. Smells the coconut of her shampoo, the scent of their detergent. Feels that sense of peace wash over her that she associates with being wrapped around Vanessa on the sofa on the sofa, that feeling that she’s not alone, that someone who loves her is in it with her. 

“I know,” she mumbles into Vanessa’s neck, feeling goosebumps break out under her breath. She blows lightly, knowing that it’s Vanessa’s ticklish spot, and Vanessa squirms away. “I know it will be.” She rests her forehead against Vanessa’s. “Got you to keep us all right, don’t I?”

“Don’t you know it,” Vanessa grins, then grimaces. “God, I thought we’d have a few years before we’d be back on the nappy changes.”

A familiar guilt squeezes Charity’s stomach, making her feel sick. It’s always her, her and her family, that mess up their plans. They moved house to look after Charity’s granddaughter. Charity’s aunt moved in with them, their first home on their own, because she had nowhere else to go. Vanessa spent Noah’s entire sixth form year sitting with him practically every night to make sure he got the grades he needed. 

And now, now that Noah’s out of the house and Sarah’s gap year is up and she’s moving to uni as well, and the boys settled in school, and Faith moved in with her new man, they finally, finally almost have the house to themselves. 

And now this.

“I’m really sorry.” She looks at the ground, dangling her feet off the side to kick at the pebbles. “I know this wasn’t what you signed up for.”

They had the chat, way back when they first started sleeping together. Back when Charity used to start rambling conversations to try and make Vanessa stay after they’d rolled away from one another and lay there trying to catch their breath. Vanessa told her that she’d never even really wanted kids. That Johnny had been a complete surprise. That while she obviously loves him to pieces, she couldn’t really see herself having any more.

And now she’s got five, at various stages of grown-ness, and step-grandkids to boot. And now, a baby on the way.

“I signed up for you and our kids, and everything that comes with that.” Vanessa slides off the bench and comes round, tugging Charity’s legs apart so she can stand between them. “We’re a team, remember?”

Charity kisses her then, softly and lingering. “What would I do without you, eh?” 

“Right back atcha.” Vanessa cups her face softly. “This isn’t a one way street, no mater how much you like to pretend it is.”

“Mum?” 

She looks over Vanessa’s shoulder and sees Noah, hands in his pockets, shoulder squared. The older he gets, the more of Debbie he gets. The attitude, the defensiveness. 

“Hey babe,” she says, sliding off the bench.

“Ness said I’d better give you a while to cool down. So have you?”

Charity feels her hackles rise but before she can respond, she feels Vanessa’s hand on her back.

“Maybe less of the attitude?” Vanessa suggests, her voice firm but kind. She’s become an expert on how to handle a nervous Dingle over the years.

Noah looks down, sheepish, and Charity flashes back to being in this same situation all those years ago. The test she’d hidden in her drawer for weeks. The baggy T-shirt’s she’d started wearing. Throwing up outside so her dad wouldn’t hear her retching next to his bedroom. 

But eventually, when none of her trousers would close and her step mum of the moment had started suggesting that she might want to start working out because she’d been putting on quite a bit of weight, she’d had to come clean.

“Come here,” she tells him, and suddenly he’s ten again, and it’s just them against the world, holding each other like noting else matters. “It’ll be ok,” she promises him. “We’ll make it work, ok?”

He nods into her chest, and Charity looks over his shoulder at Vanessa, whose eyes are wet, soppy cow. 

“It’ll all work out.” She strokes his head. “I promise.” 

She believes, now, that this is a promise that she can keep.


	4. Who Did This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 35 for lion-cheshire: Who Did This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in a nebulous period just after Charity chases after Vanessa and told her she liked her quite a bit.
> 
> This is utter fluff.

**35\. Who Did This?**

Charity is well aware she’s probably coming across as slightly deranged today. She’s caught herself grinning into thin air three times since lunch time, and at one point Jimmy even pointed out that she was humming as she was pulling his pint.

It’s weird, this feeling. Even when she’s in the middle of grump or serving a mardy customer, there’s this constant in her stomach, this warm knowledge that she’s got something to look forward to. _Someone_ to look forward to.

In the couple of days since her and Vanessa made up, there hasn’t been a single night they’ve spent apart. And although there’s a voice inside her head that says that that’s not normal for their kind of arrangement, that maybe they are veering dangerously close to _relationship_ territory, she’s decided to blissfully ignore it for now.

Because for the first time in forever, she feels _good_ about herself. She feels like she has the energy to get through the day. Like whatever sunshine drugs are in the water at Vanessa’s that make her so unfailingly upbeat all the time have rubbed off on Charity somehow, and she’s levelled up from generally grumpy nightmare to reasonably tolerable most of the time. 

That’s the problem, Charity knows. That she can be hard and bitter and spiteful, and that others despise her, but no one more than she despises herself. 

But when she lies there, next to a gently-snoring Vanessa who’s hogging the duvet and drooling onto her pillow, she thinks that maybe, _maybe_ somewhere deep down, she’s not as bad as all that. How can she be, when Vanessa opens her door for her and lets her into the home she shares with her son, into her bed, into her life?

She tries not to think about this stuff in the daylight. She spent enough time last week trying to push down the panicky feeling when she realised Vanessa might actually have had enough. It was a punch in the gut, that morning when she stood there next to Frank’s dumb smirk and watched Vanessa drive away from her like she was nothing, like they’d never fallen asleep with their bare legs entangled and their faces touching.

But she’s fixed it. She went outside her comfort zone and showed Vanessa a part of herself. And Vanessa didn’t run away. Vanessa took her face in her hands and kissed her like she never wanted to stop. Vanessa came back to her, and so far, she’s managed not to mess it up. Everything is good.

Except apparently it’s not, because her phone lights up with a message, next to the small circular profile photo of Vanessa covered in smoothie.

_Going to have to rain check re tonight, sorry! Have a good one xx_

No explanation. Nothing else.

Charity stares at it. Puts her phone down, then picks it back up and reads it again. 

This morning, she made Vanessa a cup of tea and brought it up to her while Vanessa dried her hair and then zoomed off to work in one of Charity’s shirts. They kissed on the landing, and it was Vanessa who set her bag down and opened her mouth, who tangled her fingers in Charity’s messy bun and lengthened the kiss.

Then at lunch time, Charity sent Vanessa a link she saw on Facebook about some study that said people who snore are more intelligent, with a cheeky comment about how that explains why she’s a brainy vet. But Vanessa had found that funny, judging by the string of emojis that followed.

They haven’t messaged since then; Vanessa was going out to one of the farms to check over some of the pregnant cattle, and Charity wasn’t expecting to hear from her until her shift was over to let her know to come over.

She hasn’t physically had time to mess things up.

Charity almost stomps her feet in frustration because, Christ, it’s not fair. How is this so bloody hard? Stupid people manage to have successful relationships. Look at Jimmy! Charity likes to think she’s at least got a few brain cells on him, yet she can’t seem to help but screw up all the time while him and Nicola moon at each other non stop.

But she’s not letting this one go, she’s decided. Vanessa makes milky brews and she’s bossy and can be a grump first thing, but she’s kind and funny and pretty incredible in bed, and she’s got another thing coming if she thinks she can make Charity feel all sorts of stupid happy feelings and then drop her like she’s hot.

*** 

“Who is it?” Vanessa calls after Charity bangs on the door, and that’s odd enough for Charity to pause, because the last couple of times she’s come over Vanessa has literally had her door sitting open, inviting her inside. Security isn’t exactly a priority in Emmerdale.

“It’s me!” she calls, and she’s confused enough that some of the ire has gone out of her voice. “The fair lady you cancelled on with no explanation.”

There’s a slight pause, then Vanessa calls “Door’s open.” She doesn’t _sound_ upset or annoyed, but Charity still squares her shoulders because she’s ready to defend herself, god damn it. After the last week, Vanessa’s not letting go of her this easy.

She pushes open the door and walks straight through to the kitchen, where Vanessa has her back to her.

“Right,” Charity announces, hands on her hips. “Are you going to tell me what I’ve-“

Vanessa turns around and Charity gasps. The whole left side of Vanessa’s face is red and purple, and there’s a small cut next to her eye, which is also bruised and swelling. She has a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a dish cloth and is wincing as she presses it against her face. 

“What happened?” Charity steps closer so she can inspect the damage in the light of the window. “Who did this?”

Vanessa sighs. “Well, since you told me you liked me _quite a bit actually _ I thought I’d better lay down the law with your former suitors. You should see the state of Cain!”

Charity pauses and feels her jaw drop open, and for a brief second, the briefest of moments, she has visions of Vanessa stomping down the road to give Cain what for.

But then Vanessa rolls her eyes and smirks and Charity huffs. “Yes, I’m sure,” she replies. “Did you kick him in the ankles? Because that’s about all you could reach.”

Vanessa moves the makeshift ice pack higher and winces. “I was talking to the farmer up at Moor View about his heifers and one of his farm hands didn’t see me and opened a tractor door in my face as I was walking past.

Vanessa moves past Charity and slumps onto the sofa, looking utterly sorry for herself. “Well, go on, have a laugh.”

It’s on the tip of her tongue, to make a joke. It’s as easy as breathing to Charity, to make fun, to use humour to attack and hold people at arms’ length.

But then she looks at Vanessa again, at the tightness around her mouth, the obvious pain she’s in, and something twinges in her. It almost hurts, to see Vanessa suffering. Charity doesn’t _want_ to mock. She wants to make it better.

“Scootch,” she directs Vanessa, and lowers herself onto the tiny sofa.

Vanessa gives her a suspicious look. “What are you up to?”

Charity holds out her hand. “Give me those peas. It only helps if you actually put it on the bruise, you know.”

Vanessa pouts. “It hurts.”

Something again clenches in Charity’s chest. She rarely feels this, this urge to take care of someone. To comfort.

But she’s feeling it in full force now, and the look on Vanessa’s face – surprised and touched and soft makes Charity’s face heat up and her stomach flip flop and she quickly pats her lap. 

“Lie down.”

Vanessa beams at her, and settles down, wincing only a little when Charity gently presses the cold bag against Vanessa’s eye.

“You’d better watch out,” Vanessa breathes out. “People might get the wrong idea and think you have a caring side.”

“I think we’d better get you checked out for concussion, babe.” Charity winces in sympathy when Vanessa flinches again as the bag moves a little. “You’ve stopped making sense.”

“You’re a softy,” Vanessa whispers, delighted.

Charity sighs, but she has a worrying feeling that Vanessa might be right.


	5. You’re the one thing keeping me sane right now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 36 for xoxxokenii: You’re the only thing keeping me sane right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: non graphic depiction of child birth.
> 
> I think I’ve gone off in the deep end with these prompts guys - some of these stories are getting increasingly weird.
> 
> This is an AU set in a nebulous time after Vanity’s first time, but I’ve messed with the overall a Emmerdale timeline (you’ll see).
> 
> More of these random stories to come as soon as I finish proof reading them, thanks for all the lovely comments so far :)

** 36\. You’re The One Thing Keeping Me Sane Right Now**

She’s glancing out at the fields, lost in thought and humming along to the radio as she drives back to the village, and so Vanessa has to slam on the breaks when the figure suddenly appears in the middle of the narrow country road, waving its arms wildly at her to stop. 

It’s Charity, she sees as she comes to a stop next to her, look unfairly gorgeous in tight jeans and blazer, and Vanessa clutches the wheel tightly as her stomach flip flops.

Vanessa hasn’t actually seen her since _that night_. She’s replayed it in her head, over and over, but in person, Charity is even more disarmingly gorgeous and her palms start to sweat.

Heart thumping, she winds down her window. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” she exclaims, glancing around and seeing Charity’s red car pulled into the grassy verge.

“Vanessa!” she shouts, looking frantic.

“Are you ok?” Vanessa looks Charity over and although there’s no obvious signs of injury, her expression is a little panicked. “Have you broken down?”

“You have to help us!” Charity cries, gesturing at her own car. “We were coming back from Hotten and Chas’s waters broke and then I turned back but then I got a flat tire and neither of us has signal on our phones and I didn’t want to leave her here alone and-“

Vanessa holds up her hand. “Alright, calm down. I’ll pull in and drive you.” She pushes down the jitter of nerves; she’s just helping them out, no need to panic. She gives her own phone a cursory check but as expected, they’re deep in the signal hole.

She pulls up behind Charity’s car and hurries to the left back door. Chas is sitting, breathing heavily and steadily, in and out, clutching at her stomach, while Charity dithers, rhythmically clenching her fists. “Hurry!” she calls to her and Vanessa tries to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

“Hi,” Vanessa says to Chas, trying to sound reassuring. “Charity flagged me down. I can drive you?”

Chas looks up and manages a grimace. “Thank you, love. It’s a bit early, I’m supposed to have two weeks left!”

“Dingle babies are never on time,” Charity mutters, walking over to help Vanessa get Chas up. Vanessa tries not visibly react to Charity’s proximity and instead focus only on Chas. She still catches a whiff of Charity’s perfume, though, the one that seemed to be dabbed along her neck when Vanessa kissed her there, and suppresses a shiver.

They only make it two steps towards Vanessa’s car before a contraction hits, and it’s so strong Vanessa and Charity struggle to keep her up.

“Stop,” Chas gasps when it finally passes. “I don’t think I can move.”

“Babe, come on, you have to,” Charity says, panic in every syllable. “We have to get to the hospital! We have to get Paddy!”

“I can’t.” She cries out again. “Oh god, it hurts so much.”

“What are we going to do?” Charity’s voice is high pitched and she’s jiggling so much Vanessa is finding it increasingly hard to keep Chas upright.

“I can’t walk,” Chas groans, before tensing as another wave hits her. “Oh god, I’m going to have this baby in a field.”

Vanessa shakes her head at Charity. “We can’t move her like this.” They sit Chas back down in the back seat.

“She needs to go to a hospital.” Charity bits her lip, face white. “She can’t have it here! At her age, anything could happen!”

“We need to get Paddy,” Chas says, close to tears, luckily missing Charity’s last comment. “He can’t miss this!”

Vanessa tries to stay calm and level headed, because panicking isn’t going to help right now. “Try to breathe through it.” She looks up at Charity. “The contractions are really close together.”

“I feel like I need to push,” Chas grits out. “I am not having my daughter in your bloody car, Charity!”

Charity pulls out her phone and growls in frustration. “There’s still no signal!”

“Alright.” Vanessa reaches down and squeezes Chas’s hand. “Look, I think I’d maybe better take a look, ok?” She waits until Chas nods and then jogs to her boot, ignoring Charity’s panicked “Where are you going?!” and fetches some supplies before running back over. “Can I?”

“She’s not a cow,” Charity snips, pacing up and down with her hands on her hips. “What are you even going to do?”

Vanessa ignores her and finishes snapping on a pair of gloves. “The basic principles are the same.” Chas wriggles out of her maternity leggings and underwear and Vanessa crouches down. 

Chas groans loudly. “For gods sake, Charity, stop pacing, you’re driving me crazy!” she snaps. She leans back and cries out again. Vanessa feels Charity leaning down behind her and tries not to inhale sharply at her proximity and to focus on the task at hand as she reaches down and inside.

Back when Vanessa started coming home with straight As, her Mum had been dead keen on her to do medicine. She’d been utterly disappointed when Vanessa chose veterinary medicine instead.

But this experience is very much affirming Vanessa’s life choices for her, because human patients, patients that she knows, are stressful. 

“You’re really dilated already,” Vanessa tells Chas as she stands back up. “And I think she might be crowning.”

“I really, really feel like I need to push,” Chas grits out, clutching the seat. 

Vanessa nods. “To be honest, I think we’re pretty much at that point. We’ll just have to make the best of it.”

“We have to get her to the hospital,” Charity half shouts. “She can’t have a baby on my backseat!”

Vanessa turns and looks Charity in the eye for the first time since she pulled over, and softens at the terror on her face. “It’s too late for that. Look, one of us should take my car and drive until they have phone reception and call an ambulance, and also Paddy.”

“Charity, you go.” Chas pushes her hair off her sweaty forehead.

“No, I’m staying!” Charity rushes to her side and takes her hand. “I’m not leaving you.”

“I’ll go,” Vanessa tries for a smile, trying to be calm and reassuring because one of them should be. “I’ll be quick.”

“Please, Vanessa, you have to stay with me,” Chas says, sounding desperate. “You’re the only thing keeping me sane right now. Charity has gone all flappy and you seem to know what you’re doing!”

Vanessa hesitates. She sees Charity’s face drop.

“I’ll look after her, I promise,” she tells Charity. 

There’s a pause, then Charity nods. “You’ll make sure she’s alright?”

Vanessa nods her head, hoping desperately that’s a promise she can keep l. “I’ll do everything I can, I promise.” She hands Charity her keys. “Tell them to hurry.”

Charity nods and runs off, and Vanessa crouches back down.

“I am going to _kill_ Paddy,” Chas groans. “If he _ ever _ thinks about sleeping with me again.”

*** 

In the end, delivering a human baby isn’t actually all that different to delivering a calf or a lamb, not that that’s a thought she shares with Chas. The next fifteen or so minutes are a blur of cries and groans and blood and Vanessa trying her best to be reassuring while knowing that nothing she does is ultimately going to do much if things go wrong, not with the tools she’s got available. 

By the time Charity skids Vanessa’s car back into place behind them, Chas is lying back, exhausted but clutching her baby wrapped in Vanessa’s cardigan and the sirens are approaching. Vanessa is learning heavily on the car, trying to calm her thumping heart.

“I couldn’t get hold of bloody Paddy,” Charity curses, rushing over without even bothering to shut the driver’s door. “How is…oh!”

She leans down and peers in at the baby’s face, and Vanessa’s heart clenches when she sees Chas and Charity smiling softly at each other. 

“You did it!”

Chas nods her head weakly. “We did it. Vanessa was amazing. I couldn’t have done it without her.”

Charity turns to her but before she can say anything, the ambulance pulls up and everything becomes a frantic rush. 

“I’ll go and find Paddy and bring him to the hospital,” Vanessa tells Charity, who nods and gives her a long look, before the paramedics call her and she clambers into the ambulance.

*** 

Hours later, Charity finds her in the waiting room.

“Paddy said you were still here,” she says, sounding surprised none the less, and drops into the seat next to Vanessa.

“Didn’t feel right to leave until I knew everyone was ok.” Also, once the adrenaline wore off and she no longer had Paddy yelling at her to ‘step on it’, she’d felt exhausted, and probably not like she should drive. “Do you need a lift back to the village?” She immediately bites her lip; the idea of being alone with Charity is both terrifying and exhilarating.

“I think I’m going to stay here for a bit,” Charity says, sounding as tired as Vanessa feels. “At least until the rest of the rabble make their way up here.”

Vanessa nods, disappointed and relieved. Looks like they’re not talking about _ it _ then.

“You were pretty great today.” Charity turns her head to look at her and Vanessa immediately looks down at her knees, feeling a blush rise on her cheeks at the compliment.

“I didn’t do much.” She really hadn’t. They were lucky it was a relatively simple and quick birth.

“You were dead calm though.”

Vanessa shrugs. “I do stuff like that all the time though. I mean, not exactly like that obviously-“

Charity laughs a little. “I was glad it was you, when I saw your car.”

“Yeah?” Vanessa’s heart starts thump thump thumping.

“Yeah.” Charity smirks at her. “Even though I was worried for a moment you weren’t going to stop when you saw it was me.”

Vanessa’s jaw drops open. “Why would you think that?”

“Hmm.” Charity places her fingers on her chin in mock-thoughtfulness. “Maybe because you’ve been avoiding me like I’m contagious for the last two weeks?”

Vanessa tugs on a hangnail at the side of her thumb. She can’t deny it, and what’s worse, under her mocking bravado, Charity sounds hurt.

After that morning, Vanessa’s head had been a mess. She never even stopped to think about what Charity might make of her avoidance. With a guilty pang she remembers the way Charity had been carrying two mugs of tea up the stairs. She’d wanted Vanessa to stay for breakfast.

And Vanessa had run out on her. “I’m sorry.” 

Charity snorts, and it sounds almost convincingly blasé. “Please, it’s not the first time someone’s regretted sleeping with me and I dare say it won’t be the last.”

“I didn’t!” Vanessa says immediately, so loudly that a couple two rows of chairs in front glance around. Lowering her voice, she leans closer to Charity. “I mean, that’s not… I’ve just been…” She sighs. “I’ve never done that before, with a woman, and since it happened I’ve just been…”

“…having a gay panic?” Charity’s eyes have softened a little at whatever she sees on Vanessa’s face. “So you’re telling me that you can deliver a baby like it’s nothing in the middle of the B809 but a couple of hours of great sex sends you into a two-week meltdown?”

She’s not exactly talking quietly and the couple turn around again, looking scandalised. But to her surprise, Vanessa doesn’t mind. Instead, she feels a laugh bubbling up inside of her. 

“I guess so.”

Charity glances away. “Heard you and Daz had a bit of a thing a few days later.”

Mortified, Vanessa turns her torso towards Charity. “Nothing happened. I swear. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “You don’t owe me an explanation.” Maybe Vanessa’s kidding herself, but she seems relieved none the less.

“It wasn’t anything to do with you.” She wants to be very clear about that, feeling suddenly guilty about the way she exited that morning. “You were…” She feels her face heating up again. “You were amazing. And I’m really sorry for running out on you.”

Charity gives her the smallest of smiles, and Vanessa feels like her heart is going to thump right out of her chest. “I think you made up for it today.”

Vanessa bites her lip, and digs her nails into her palms. _Do it_, she tells herself. _You’ve wanted to for so long_.

“Would you maybe want to go out some time?” It sounds incredibly lame as soon as it comes out and she wishes the blue plastic seat would melt right into the floor and drag her with it.

“I’m not really much of a date person, babe.” Charity cocks her head to the side, and Vanessa drops her smile in disappointment. She’s blown it. No wonder. Blanking someone for a fortnight after some incredible sex probably gives off the wrong signals. “On the other hand, having seen two of your hidden talents I’m curious to discover what others you might reveal.”

“Two?” Vanessa asks, confused.

“Baby deliverer,” Charity grins, holding up one finger. “And…” She holds up a second finger and wiggles them so suggestive that Vanessa grabs them in her own and drags them down.

“Charity!” She’s scandalised but amused and maybe a little bit flattered as well. She also feels like this blush might be becoming permanent.

“Charity, Chas is asking to see you,” a voice says behind them and they turn to see a rumpled but thrilled looking Paddy. 

“I’ll be there in a second.” Charity turns back to Vanessa. “Duty calls.”

“Ok.” Vanessa hesitates. “I’ll come by the pub tomorrow?”

Looking pleased, Charity nods. “I’ll keep a pint waiting for you.” She stands up, then bends back down and places a short, soft kiss on Vanessa’s mouth. “And if you’re lucky, I might even let you try out your second special skill on me again.”


	6. Bite Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another one for xoxxokenii (I promise I’m also writing everyone else’s) - prompt 29: Bite Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: semi graphic sex, and also vampires. Yes you read correctly. This is now the second time I have written a vampire story despite being so squeamish I close my eyes when I type the word blood.

**29\. Bite me**

Charity’s an excellent kisser. Vanessa obviously knows that from last night, but it’s even better now that they’re both sober – deliberate and firm and her lips are soft and just the right side of assertive.

Why has she not let herself feel this before? Why has she denied herself this for years, for decades? Vanessa’s whole body feels like it’s on fire, like every single cell is singing out to be touched. All the reasons why this is a terrible idea fly out of her brain.

Charity’s hands are on her face and Vanessa melts against her, letting her own slide down Charity’s back and to her waist. 

They’re perched on the side of Charity’s bed – a king size with a metal frame and soft looking light green sheets – and Vanessa wants to keep doing this forever.

Her head is spinning. It’s been so long, _so_ long since she’s let herself feel this way, and it’s almost too much. 

Charity’s tongue slips inside her mouth and Vanessa moans and her fingers tighten on Charity’s hip and she feels like she’s falling and –

“Ow!” Charity pulls back, reaching up with a finger and touching her tongue. A tiny red splash of blood comes away. “What the hell?”

Vanessa slaps her hand over her mouth. She can feel her incisors pressing against her lip. As she breathes in she catches the scent of Charity’s blood and she rears back.

Oh god.

“Was that…was that your _teeth_?” Charity looks at her with wide eyes. “They’re so sharp!”

Vanessa clutches at the bed, trying not to breathe in through her nose. But Charity’s scent, the smell of her skin and her arousal and the tiny drop of blood on her finger is overwhelming. Intoxicating.

“Don’t tell me you’re a…you’re not one of those…”

“I’m going to go,” Vanessa manages to choke out, scrambling up off the bed and grasping for her coat. “I have to, I mean I’ve got a thing, I-“

“Oh my god, you _are_!” Charity’s mouth stretches into a surprised smirk. “You really are a dark horse, aren’t you? Prim and proper Vanessa Woodfield, or so I thought. But first last night and now this!”

“I’m sorry.” Vanessa feels close to tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I promise. I thought I had it under control.” She covers her eyes with her free hand. “God, this is why I never do this.”

Charity stands up, dragging Vanessa’s hand away. “Do what? Make out with people until your incisors pop?”

“This isn’t a joke,” Vanessa snaps, stepping out of reach. 

Charity follows. “You don’t have to be scared of me, babe.” She’s speaking softly, much softer than Vanessa has ever heard her speak before.

“I’m not scared of you.” Vanessa finally looks at Charity face on. “I’m scared of me, ok? I’m scared of what I might do if I let myself…”

Charity stares at her, and Vanessa can’t read the expression on her face. 

“I think if you were going to hurt me, you would have done so by now.” Charity takes a small step forward. “You _are_ super strong, aren’t you?”

Vanessa nods mutely.

“I know how it feels, to be scared of yourself. To not feel in control. But it’s ok.” Charity takes another step. “You’re trembling.”

It’s true; Vanessa is shaking all over from panic and desire. She closes her eyes to try and get some control. “I haven’t done this,” she whispers, “since I was turned.”

She feels Charity’s fingers cover her own and opens her eyes a little. 

“When was that?”

Vanessa hesitates but something about the way in which Charity has reacted makes her feel like she can open up, even though she’s told hardly anyone, ever. She tries not to remember the way Rhona had reared back in disgust, how their relationship had changed after she found out.

“It was in uni.” She takes a deep breath. “It was my first time with a woman. She asked if she could bite me but I didn’t know…she didn’t explain…” It still hurts, to think back on it. The way she’s thought maybe Alicia actually liked her. But instead, she just wanted to experience what it was like to turn someone and abandoned Vanessa to her transition when she was sated. 

Charity’s eyes widen. “You didn’t know she was turning you?”

Tears sting in the corners of Vanessa’s eyes and she looks down. “I should have asked more questions. But I just wanted…I thought she was just going to bite for a bit, I didn’t know she was…I’d wanted it for so long and I just didn’t…”

She looks away from Charity; can’t stand the thought of seeing judgement or worse, pity, on her her face.

“I did it with a vampire once,” Charity says, and Vanessa’s head snaps up in surprise. They’re not common, and the live in the shadows. Most humans avoid them. “He wanted to bite me. I’d heard people say it was an incredible experience but I have to say, it wasn’t as good as I was expecting.”

Vanessa wipes at the corners of her eyes. “The male venom isn’t as potent an aphrodisiac.” She hesitates but it comes out anyway. “And the vampire’s level of attraction to the person they’re biting also has an impact.”

Charity trails a finger up Vanessa’s arm and Vanessa shudders, trying to control herself at Charity’s nearness, at the way her chest is rising and falling right in her line of sight.

“Have you ever bitten anyone before?”

Vanessa shakes her head. “I take the suppressants.” She gasps as Charity’s nail reaches her neck and traces up to her jaw. “And the synthetic blood.” 

“Why not?” Charity husks, stepping closer and pressing her full body against Vanessa, who struggles to draw breath at the feeling. 

“I didn’t want to accidentally turn someone,” she gasps out. “I didn’t want to do to someone what she did to me.” 

Charity looks down into her eyes, and there’s something soft in her look. “I trust you,” she says. 

Vanessa shakes her head. “You can’t. This was a mistake. This is why I don’t-“

“This is why you don’t sleep with women? Because you want to bite them?”

Vanessa moans helplessly. Charity is so close, her scent is everywhere, and she wants her so badly.

“I trust you,” Charity says again, and traces the finger which has the dried blood on it over Vanessa’s lips. 

Vanessa can’t help it. Her mouth opens almost without conscious thought as she sucks the tip inside, and she groans at the taste and at the action alike.

“See,” Charity husks, her pupils wide. “It would be so good, if you want to try.”

She leans in, slowly, giving Vanessa time to pull away, but Vanessa’s self control is well and truly gone. They kiss, softly at first, until Charity’s fingers trail down Vanessa’s jaw to her chest and Vanessa groans as Charity cups her breast through her top, opening her mouth. Charity slides her tongue against her own in a soft, sensual rhythm, and when she presses it along Vanessa’s teeth it feels it like Charity is touching her with a live wire.

“Show me how strong you are,” Charity whispers, and her voice is thick with want.

Dizzy with relief and desire, Vanessa decides to let go, just a little, of hiding who she is. She reaches down and cups Charity’s ass before lifting her up.

Charity makes a noise of surprise but eagerly wraps her legs around Vanessa’s waist as Vanessa spins them and pins her to the wall.

“You have to promise,” Vanessa says as firmly as she can manage, “that you’ll tell me to stop if you don’t like what I’m doing.”

Charity nods, eyes earnest. “I promise.” 

They kiss again, and Vanessa goes almost out of her mind at the way Charity is already grinding up against her stomach. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she gasps, tilting her head as Charity nips at her neck. 

“How about this, then?” Charity grips her shoulders firmly. “I tell you what I want, and you just follow my lead?”

She slowly nods her head and Vanessa finds herself nodding right along with her, like Charity is a snake charmer and she’s been hypnotised. 

“Put me on the bed.” 

Vanessa obeys eagerly, trying not to rush, but it’s delicious and irresistible to finally give in to what she’s wanted for so long and she walks so quickly she almost trips on her again-discarded coat.

She lowers Charity gently onto the duvet and stares helplessly as Charity starts unbuttoning her shirt.

“Take of your clothes,” Charity husks. Nervous, Vanessa bites her lip as she reaches for her jumper.

“Slowly,” Charity instructs. “I want to see you.”

There’s a freedom in this, Vanessa realises, a freedom in not making the decisions, in not being the one in control. Charity is taking the lead but Vanessa feels more unchained than ever before.

She slips her top up and off; slowly pops the button on her jeans and wriggles out of them. It’s not the sexiest of stripteases but it makes Charity’s eyes darken in the dusky twilight of the bedroom. 

“Kiss me,” she demands, when Vanessa is finally stripped bare before her.

Vanessa shudders as she lowers herself against Charity’s nakedness, as she captures her mouth below her own. 

“Touch me,” Charity tells her, and Vanessa traces figures over her breasts, kisses her neck and shoulders, trails her nails up her thighs.

It’s the most turned on Vanessa’s ever been. She can smell ever inch of Charity and her scent is so intoxicating that every breath drives her wild. But to her relief, even through the haze of pleasure, she has control. Can feel good without the vampire in her taking over.

“Spread your legs,” Charity tells her, and she opens for her without thought. 

It’s nothing like it was with Alicia, or with Rhona. Charity takes her time, builds her up, takes her to the edge and lets her ride it. Vanessa feels like she’s floating, like she might die again if she doesn’t come, and it’s the sweetest feeling.

“When you come,” Charity groans below her, “I want you to bite me.”

Vanessa’s eyes snap open and she forces herself to focus. “What?”

“Let me feel it,” she asks, and Vanessa can see that even though she’s still giving orders it’s a request. She can say no. “Please. Just a little.”

She twists her fingers inside Vanessa and Vanessa gasps sharply. “Oh _god_. Are you sure?” 

In reply, Charity grabs her wrist and drags it down between their bodies into her own wetness. “I’m sure.”

Vanessa arches forward, the sensations are too intense. She breathes against Charity’s neck, trying to hold on, but her orgasm is coming as unstoppable as a wave. She opens her mouth and her teeth graze Charity’s skin. Even this lightest of touches makes Charity arch into her, cry out and clutch at her back. 

“Please, Vanessa,” she whispers. “Bite me.”

It’s too much. Vanessa comes in a mess of light and touch, feeling like she’s letting go of something that’s been weighing her down for decades. 

And as Charity begins to groan right along with her, Vanessa opens her mouth and clamps down gently on her neck.


	7. Sorry Isn’t Going To Help When I Kick Your Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 18 for xoxxokenii and everyone who wanted to See Vanessa’s hen do: Sorry Isn’t Going To Help When I Kick Your Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This won’t be exactly what you had in mind but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Warning - this takes a sharp dip into sappy near the end.

**18\. Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass**

Undoubtedly the worst part about Vanessa being away on her hen do is that Paddy has been sat at the bar all bloody night, talking to her.

“Tracy gets to go on both so why don’t I?” Chas had whined, and so now Charity is stuck babysitting her giant man baby while they all have a fine time at the spa.

“If you could turn any animal into the size of your palm and keep it as your pet, which one would you pick?” he asks her, shredding a beer mat as he speaks. “I think I’d go for an elephant.”

“Give me strength,” she mutters to herself and picks up her phone. She’s only had a couple of messages from Vanessa since they left this morning, but she checks Instagram and smiles at the photos Tracy has posted of them all covered in face masks and in white fluffy robes.

“Or maybe a tiny giraffe,” Paddy mumbles, swirling his pint glass around. “Because their necks are so-whoops!” He splashes his lager over the bar and gives her an apologetic grin. “Bit of a spill.” His eyes widen. “Oh my god, imagine a tiny whale!”

“Paddy, for the love of god, shut up!” Charity pulls out a cloth and starts wiping down the bar. “Don’t you have anything better to do? Literally anything other than sitting here and doing my head in?”

He shrugs. “Well, Bear is out and Marlon is working and Chas and Rhona and Vanessa are away and Aaron is with Liv and-“

“Fine!” She cuts him off before her head explodes. “Can you just sit there quietly then?”

“Sorry.” He sips at his pint in silence for maybe ten seconds, then his phone buzzes. “Oh, Chas just sent me a photo of them all!”

Despite her annoyance, Charity rounds the bar to look over his shoulder. They’re all back in normal clothes and are gathered around various tiers of cakes and finger sandwiches. Vanessa has a pink crown on her head that says ‘Bride’, and Charity’s stomach feels warm and fuzzy.

Charity glances at the faces of the other women; most are from the village but there are a couple of faces she doesn’t recognise. One of them has her arms wrapped around Vanessa, who is giving her best cheesy grin. 

This must be one of the uni friends Rhona rounded up. Charity feels the grin slip from her face. 

Other than Paddy and Rhona, she’s never met any of Vanessa’s friends from before Emmerdale. Sometimes on Saturday nights Vanessa heads through to Leeds or Manchester with Rhona to meet up with them, but she’s never asked Charity to come. 

Charity’s never given that much thought until now. She knows she gets caught up in her own family; her and Vanessa both do. There’s a lot of Dingles and extended Dingles and of she’s completely honest, she has limited energy to show an interest beyond that.

And Vanessa never talks about these people in a present tense kind of way; sometimes she’ll tell a story from way back when but she usually refers to them as ‘my friend’, no name. And Charity’s made an effort with Rhona, and it’s easier not to want to throttle Paddy now she doesn’t live with him, but she’s never asked about anyone beyond those two.

But seeing the picture, seeing at least three women she doesn’t recognise, one of whom is apparently close enough to Vanessa to hug her in the group photo, makes her stomach feel tight and uncomfortable.

Why has she never been introduced to these people? Why has Vanessa never talked about them?

“Oh my god, is that Helen Spiers?” Paddy slides his fingers to enlarge the picture. “My god, she hasn’t changed a bit!”

Charity frowns; she’s sure she’s never heard that name before. 

Paddy continues looking down at his phone. “She was in our course, Vanessa was _obsessed_ with her for months. I didn’t really get it at the time but now it’s kind of obvious that she was basically in love with her.”

Charity chokes a little on her own spit. “Sorry, what?”

“I hope you guys don’t mind I invited Helen,” Paddy says in a broad, high pitched and god awful Vanessa impression. “Oh, Paddy, isn’t Helen _soooo_ clever?” He flutters his eyelashes and Charity feels sick, suddenly.

There’s a hard, nauseating, painful squeezing in her gut, because she thought she knew every person Vanessa has ever so much as had a dirty fantasy about. They’ve shared so much with each other. Charity’s never been this close to another partner.

But apparently there’s a stylish strawberry blonde with perfect teeth and a fancy degree who even _Paddy_ noticed Vanessa had feelings for, whom she’s never thought to mention.

And maybe that’s the reason. Charity is taken back, abruptly and sharply to the one time they visited Vanessa’s mum, to tell her about the engagement. She remembers the way Margaret looked her up and down and pursed her lips, the way women of a particular type used to look at her when Charity was still living on the street. 

_You’re not good enough for my daughter_, that look said.

And it was right. What does Charity have to offer her? 

_You’re a business woman,_ Vanessa likes to say. But running a pub isn’t exactly brain surgery, animal or otherwise. She’d seen the picture on the wall at her mum’s; the only picture of Vanessa, in fact. Her graduation photo, freckled and beaming, clutching a degree Charity could never have even hoped to obtain.

That sort of thing was just never on the cards for their family.

Maybe Noah and Sarah will be different. Maybe they’ll have a chance at that sort of life.

Charity wonders if they’ll be embarrassed about her too.

Paddy, oblivious to her inner turmoil, sips his pint. “Her and Vanessa were inseparable in second year, but then when we got sent on placement she got Cornwall and then ended up finishing uni in Exeter. Vanessa was proper gutted! I think the first time they met again was at that reunion we all went to a couple of years ago and they must have kept in touch.”

Charity stalks round the bar and picks up her phone, opening the Facebook app and clicking into Vanessa’s profile before scrolling down her friends list. 

Helen’s profile is mostly private but there’s a couple of pictures, all of her looking very tasteful and glam, and Charity’s stomach drops as she notices that Vanessa has liked every single one.

It’s new, this sharp jealousy. She’s never had to feel it with Vanessa, not since they became official. Honestly, she knew deep down even before then that she had nothing to worry about. Vanessa is open and honest about what she wants. She’s not the type to cheat. She’s not the kind of person who’s constantly on the lookout for something better. She’s solid, reliable. Comforting.

At least Charity thought she was.

_Calm down_, she tries to tell herself. _This could mean nothing. _

But why doesn’t Vanessa ever talk about this woman? Charity suddenly doesn’t know what’s worse: the idea that Vanessa is ashamed of Charity and that’s the reason she’s never met these people, or that Vanessa’s secretly crushing on this woman, who’s hugging her at her hen party.

“She’s looking good!” Paddy babbles, still staring at the photo. “I mean, she always did but some women just age well, don’t you think?” 

Charity clenches her fists around the towel in her hand. _Don’t overreact,_ she tells herself. _This probably all means nothing. Vanessa is going to call you ridiculous when she gets back._

“Wait, hang on, does that mean you’ve never met Helen before?” He tilts his head. “Isn’t that a bit weird for you, her being at Vanessa’s hen do?”

Charity grabs his empty pint glass from him with such force that he flinches. It’s almost comical, watching realisation fade over his face.

“Sorry, Charity, I didn’t mean-“

“Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick you ass,” she hisses. “I’m taking a break. Tell everyone to serve themselves or bloody well wait, I couldn’t care less.” Then she grabs her phone and storms out to the back.

*** 

Her phone vibrates five minutes later, and really, she should not be surprised. 

“Hello?” she says neutrally, like she doesn’t know who’s on the other end.

“What’s wrong?” Vanessa asks without preamble. “All I got from Chas was that Paddy upset you somehow.”

Charity rolls her eyes. She’s not a child, she doesn’t need people telling tales on her. “I’m not upset.”

“Charity, what’s going on?”

Charity picks at the fluff on Chas’s sofa, grey and white strands caught on the fabric. “How’s it going? Are you having fun?”

Vanessa sighs. “I was, until I heard you were in a snit.” 

Feeling simultaneously guilty and annoyed, Charity sighs. When did she get so bad at pretending, at bottling things up? When did she start feeling the need to get things out in the open straight away?

“Why did you never tell me about Helen?” she asks, glad suddenly that they’re having this conversation over the phone, because she’s not sure she could take looking at Vanessa while she tells her about the one that got away.

“Who’s Helen?” Vanessa asks, sounding confused.

Charity scoffs. “Helen Spiers, AKA the woman Paddy just informed me you were in love with at uni, who just also happens to be at your hen do.”

There’s a pause. Then Vanessa bursts out laughing.

Charity’s cheeks flood with heat, but relief pools in her gut because she knows immediately that she’s way off mark. “Helen? Me and Helen?” She cackles again. “Where is this coming from?”

Feeling stupid and ridiculous for her brief moment of uncharacteristic insecurity, Charity sighs. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

Vanessa sighs softly. “What did Paddy say?”

“That you were obsessed with her at uni and kept inviting her to stuff?”

“Charity,” Vanessa says gently, and Charity feels warm and silly all at once. “Helen fancied Paddy. She asked me to invite her to stuff as a favour. There was never anything between us.”

Charity wipes her hand across her face. She feels like an idiot. She’s always been prone to overreactions but this is a new low even for her.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t really think I’m getting with some woman on my hen do, do you?” Vanessa sounds hurt and Charity closes her eyes, shame washing over her. 

“No, of course not.”

Vanessa sighs. “Then what is this about? Because I’m crazy about you and I thought you knew that.”

“I do!” Charity keeps her eyes closed, trying to block out the world in which she has messed up, yet again. “I just…when Paddy was talking about how amazing she was I just…”

“You just what?” Vanessa asks softly. “I love you, Charity. I’ve never felt about anyone in my whole life the way I feel about you.”

Some of the tightness coiled in her chest starts to loosen. “Don’t you ever wish that you’d ended up with someone a bit more…” She struggles for the words. “You know, with a degree and a fancy house and all that?”

“No.” Vanessa’s voice is firm. “I’ve got everything I want. Everything I need.”

Deep down, it’s what she knew Vanessa would say, but it still heals something in her, to hear it out loud. “Why have you never introduced me to your uni friends?”

She’s pretty sure, now, that the answer isn’t that she’s ashamed of Charity, but it’s the last niggle in her stomach she needs to clear.

Bloody Vanessa, making her want to talk things out all the time.

“You can come and meet them right now!” Vanessa says loudly, and Charity bites her lip because she can tell Vanessa in that happy place between two glasses of fizz and the third that will make her completely sloshed. 

“Maybe another time.”

“You’d hate them,” Vanessa stage whispers into the phone. “I don’t know why Rhona invited them. They’re _so annoying_.”

“I hope they’re not anywhere near you, babe, because I don’t think that was the quiet voice you were aiming for.” It’s weird, this, how Vanessa can turn her bad mood into something light in the space of five minutes.

“They don’t even know how to deal with sheep!” Vanessa exclaims loudly. “_Oh, I couldn’t do your job, all that mud! I prefer working in the city_!” Charity has no idea what accent Vanessa is trying to imitate but as usual, her efforts come off sounding slightly welsh.

“How about we sit them with Moira at the wedding?” Charity laughs, wishing with a sudden sharpness that she could tug Vanessa close and press a kiss to her head.

“You are evil!” Vanessa stage whispers again, sounding delighted. Charity preens.

“Right, you’d better get back before I get in trouble with Tracy,” Charity says. “And I suppose I’d better go and serve the bumbling idiot and the rest of the sorry bunch out there.”

“Your commitment to customer service is inspiring.” There’s a pause. “Are we ok?”

“Yeah, babe.” She feels the nerves settle in her stomach. “I’m sorry.”

“Never be sorry for how you’re feeling.” There’s someone shouting on Vanessa in the background. “We’ll talk more when I’m back tomorrow?”

“Ok.” 

Vanessa puts on her slightly firmer voice. “Now before I go, we’re about to do the Mrs and Mrs quiz. On a scale of one to ten, how traumatised is Sarah going to be by some of your answers?”

Mouth stretching into a dirty grin, Charity stretches her legs. “Eleven.”

“You are very bad,” Vanessa replies, sounding both amused and exasperated.

“You love it,” Charity replies, certain of it again. “And I love you.” She cocks her head. “Now go and have fun, but make sure you stay away from any tattoo parlours!”


	8. We’re Not Just Friends And You Fucking Know It (There’s Only One Bed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 25. on Tumblr for chellehardwicks and blurryoz - We’re Not Just Friends And You Fucking Know It - and also prompt 46. for xoxxokenni - There’s Only One Bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I’m cheating now by doing two prompts at once. No, I don’t care.
> 
> I’ve written and rewritten this one so many times I’m worried it’s stopped making sense so have at it! Thanks to jmflowers for being my sounding board.
> 
> CW: There’s semi explicit sex again, albeit briefly this time.

**25\. We’re Not Just Friends And You Fucking Know It (There’s Only One Bed)**

“Hey,” a voice says behind her, and she feels a smile stretch across her face as she turns to the bar.

“Skiving are we?” she grins at Vanessa, reaching down for a pint glass and filling it up for her.

“Hardly.” She rolls her eyes but it’s in that fond way Charity’s come to recognise. “Got a call out at six this morning, I’m absolutely shattered.”

“Well, how about this?” Charity slides the pint across to her. “My shift is over in ten, so we could slip through the back and-“

“Oh, Vanessa!” Chas says behind her and Charity pulls back quickly, pretending to be busy wiping the bar top. “I was hoping to see you.”

Vanessa smiles. Charity tries not to stare. That’s a thing that’s been happening a lot recently; too much. She needs to stop before it’s too late, but she’s never been good at self control. Especially when something feels so good.

“How are you Chas?”

Charity hears her cousin sigh. “Well, I won’t bore you with stories about mastitis or how Ruthie still won’t sleep through the night.”

“Thank Christ,” Charity mumbles under her breath, because she was really hoping to get some later and she’s heard those stories enough to know they are pretty much mood killers.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Vanessa says in that genuine way of hers, and Charity forces herself to bend down and count mixer bottles in the fridge instead of turning around to watch the interaction so no one notices her staring at Vanessa.

“Anyway, as you know my hen do is next weekend, and I was really hoping you’d come?”

“Oh, Chas, are you sure? I know I’m more Paddy’s-“

“Don’t be daft.” Chas’s voice is thick now. “You were amazing after Gracie, and I know for a fact you’ve helped this one plan most of the ‘do anyway, so I’d love for you to be there.”

“Oi,” Charity says to cover her thumping heart. She turns around, unable to resist any longer, and tries not to feel like she’s been punched in the gut when she sees Vanessa’s glistening eyes, making her want to reach out and squeeze her hand. “I’ll have you know I planned almost every single bit of that party.”

“That’s true,” Vanessa nods loyally. “I was just a sounding board.”

Chas wipes at her eye and grins at them fondly. “I know I say this all the time, but you two really are the unlikeliest of friends.”

Vanessa grins back. “We know.” She glances at Charity, and Charity manages a half smile back. “But we work well somehow.”

“You’ve been a good friend to all of us,” Chas says sincerely, squeezing Vanessa’s arm. Charity presses her nails into her palms.

_Friend_.

“It’s been a pretty crappy year,” Vanessa agrees, and Charity’s eye is caught by how her ponytail bobs as she nods her head.

This needs to stop. Problem is she doesn’t know how.

*** 

“Jesus,” she gasps later, as Vanessa emerges from between her legs and delicately wipes her mouth on the back of her hand before clambering up to lie beside her. “I thought you said you were tired.”

Vanessa giggles a littler and pokes her gently in the side. “Well, seeing you naked has an invigorating effect on me.”

Charity tries not to react but it’s impossible; compliments from Vanessa make it so much harder to remember that this is a friends with benefits situation, that they’re not _dating_, that dating is, in fact, not at all on the cards.

“Are you going to come?” she asks instead.

Vanessa quirks her eyebrow. “I guess that depends on you.”

Charity’s heartbeat picks up. Can she mean…?

Moving to straddle her leg, Vanessa presses into her. “Although to be honest, it won’t take much.”

Charity gasps as she feels her wetness, realising her mistake. 

“I actually meant, are you going to come to Chas’s hen do?” Charity grips Vanessa’s hips tightly, watching greedily as Vanessa rocks against her, her eyes fluttering shut.

“I guess,” she gasps, as Charity slips her hand down between their bodies. “If you don’t mind?”

_Say something,_ she screams at herself internally. _Tell her how you feel!_

“I’m sure you could persuade me,” Charity jokes instead, and slips her fingers further down.

*** 

The first time she ever thought of Vanessa as anything other than Frank’s daughter, the one that yelled at her that one time at Finn’s funeral, was the day the CPS called her about Bails.

She’d been walking for hours, rambling up and down country roads, and the sky was glowing gold in the late summer evening. 

Vanessa had pulled up next to her in that tiny blue beetle, and had called out to her.

“Need a lift?” she’d asked, and Charity had nodded because her feet were sore and her legs were heavy.

Vanessa hadn’t asked anything else, just driven, and when they got to the sign for Emmerdale, she’d asked if Charity wanted her to drive another loop around.

They did three loops before either of them said anything else.

“They’re not going to prosecute him,” Charity said into the quiet, looking out at the fields. She hadn’t needed to say who; everyone in bloody Yorkshire and their mum knew who she was talking about. “Not enough evidence.”

Vanessa had let out a long breath then, and Charity had looked up at her. Maybe it was the masochist in her, wanting to see into the eyes of one more person who didn’t believe her.

But Vanessa had surprised her.

“I’m so sorry,” she had said instead. “I know that’s not enough, but I am. I really hoped you would get justice.”

Charity had snorted in response. “There’s no such thing as justice.”

Vanessa hadn’t disagreed, and they’d driven for another half an hour around the village before Vanessa had dropped her off at the pub.

*** 

“I’m doing the room assignments for the hen,” Chas says as Charity comes into the living room the next morning. “I know you said we could figure it out when we’re there, but I think it’s best that whoever is in with my mother has time to brace themselves.”

“Oh?” Charity peers over her shoulder, trying to appear disinterested. “I think Debbie would be better off sharing with Sarah.”

Chas half turns. “Really? I thought Sarah and Belle might have more fun?”

“Well, Debbie hasn’t seen Sarah much since she went to Scotland,” Charity says, reaching over Chas’s shoulder to move Debbie’s name from her own. “Oh, and hey, if Vanessa is coming that means she could share with me!”

“Oh, I see,” Chas says, and her tone, that ‘I am all-knowing’ tone she has, makes Charity’s pause. 

Charity drops onto the seat next to her. “What? What do you _see_?”

“Absolutely nothing.” Chas cocks her head at her like an inquisitive dog. “Just you wanting to share a room with Vanessa, like the good _friends_ you are.”

Heart thumping, Charity goes on the offensive. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chas pins her with a look. “I know you’ve not had that many friends in your life so you might not know this, but shagging three times a week isn’t considered normal friend activity.”

Charity splutters. “Wha-“

“And before you deny it, please remember that our room is right across from yours and your _friend_ isn’t exactly quiet.”

Charity rubs her fingers along her forehead. She can’t believe she didn’t know that Chas knew. 

“Love, why are you hiding it?” Chas reaches across and grabs her hand. “I think it’s brilliant. She’s so good for you, she’s kind and she smart and genuinely cares about you…”

“And you think I don’t know that?” Charity explodes, crossing her arms protectively over her chest. 

Chas’s eyes widen. “So what’s the problem?”

Charity rolls her eyes, trying to cover for the sick feeling in her stomach. “Nothing. Vanessa doesn’t want a relationship, and you know I’m shit at them anyway.”

“Are you sure? Only, she looks at you like-“

“I’m going to go through and help Matty, it sounds rammed out there,” Charity mutters, sliding her chair violently back.

“Charity!” Chas calls after her, but she doesn’t turn around.

*** 

They became kind of sort of friends, after that day Vanessa drove her home. Vanessa would stop at the pub and sit at the bar to talk to her sometimes, and Charity actually enjoyed it.

Then one day when Charity was stuck at the pub because Chas was at the doctor and Matty was off somewhere, Vanessa offered to pick Moses up and watch him for her. When Charity went round to get him later, Vanessa had invited them to stay for dinner.

Slowly, gradually, and to the astonishment of the whole village, they became genuinely fond of each other.

Charity hasn’t had many friends before, certainly not any she isn’t related to, and it’s nice, to have someone to have a moan to. Vanessa is fun and kind and bossy in a nice way, and she makes her laugh. One time, she’d come to pick Vanessa up from work and found her talking to a snake. She hadn’t let her live that down for weeks.

But things changed between them when Frank died.

Charity had heard about what happened up at the factory through the village grapevine, had called Vanessa twice but hadn’t got through. She’d thought about stopping by but had talked herself out of it; the last thing Vanessa needed was crowds she was too polite to get rid of.

But then, ten minutes before closing, Vanessa had stumbled in, white-faced and eyes red-rimmed. “Give me a bottle of whisky please,” she’d said, and Charity hadn’t had the heart to say no.

She’d cleared out the remaining punters and slid in beside her, snagging the bottle to take her own sips.

“He was a shit father,” Vanessa had said suddenly, and Charity had turned to look at her.

“Ness,” she had tried , but Vanessa shook her head.

“No, he was. He dumped me and mum, and he dumped Tracy and her mum, and he only ever cared about making money and winning.” She sighed. “And the worst thing is, these last few years I really thought he was changing. That we might actually get to know each other again.”

“He loved you.” Charity could at least say that with certainty, no matter what else she may have thought of Frank. “You and Tracy. You did know him. And he knew you. The important stuff.”

Vanessa had snorted and looked down, tears starting to spill over. “He didn’t know anything about me.” She shook her head. “I thought I’d have time, to learn to trust him again. And now he’s dead, and it’s too late.”

Charity had reached for Vanessa’s hand and squeezed it. “What do you mean? Ness, he knows you loved him.”

She shook her head again. “I just…life is so short, and I spend so much time trying to be what everyone else wants me to be, instead of just…” She’d broken off, and Charity had looked her in the eyes, and then Vanessa had leaned in and they’d kissed, and looking back later, that was when it all started going wrong, because Charity normally sleeps with strangers: no strings, no complications. 

But she liked Vanessa, was genuinely fond of her. Had felt something when Vanessa had kissed her, had wanted to make Vanessa feel something back.

“Are you sure this is what you want right now?” Charity had asked her, her hands gently cupping Vanessa’s face.

“I just want to feel something good,” Vanessa replied, and after that, Charity just let it happen.

Maybe it was because she understood that impulse well; maybe it was because touching Vanessa, being kissed by her and feeling her inside felt like something was finally, finally penetrating through the fog that had surrounded her since Bails had crawled back into her life.

Either way, in one night, they’d gone from casual friends to two people who had spent hours learning where and how hard and how many and _right there_, and in the morning, when Charity was sure Vanessa would freak out on her, she’d just got a smile.

“Thank you,” she’d said instead, tugging her jeans back on. 

“No problem,” Charity had mumbled in reply, because what do you say to that? 

She’d thought that that was it, a one time fumble to help Vanessa through her grief; a comfort-shag before they went back to casual acquaintances.

Instead, three nights later, during an ad break on the X Factor after their weekly dinner at Tug Ghyll, Vanessa had turned the sound off, kneeled in front her and gone down on her with a vigour that had her clawing at the sides of the tiny sofa.

That was the start. And somehow, that was much easier to find than the end.

*** 

It’s not mature or nice or any of those other stupid adult words, but Charity avoids Vanessa all week after her conversation with Chas.

Because that chat had burst the bubble, the bubble where it didn’t matter what they were doing between the sheets because no one else knew about it. It wasn’t real to anyone but them and that meant that Charity’s feelings weren’t real either.

But Chas’s knowing, pitying looks, and the idea of having to lay herself bare in front of Vanessa only to be shot down, probably in the kindest way possible, are so awful that she instead does what she does best: avoids the issue, flirts outrageously with the patrons and drinks a lot of vodka.

She sees Vanessa on Wednesday, trying to catch her eye, but the bar is thankfully crowded and she manages to time her break in such a way that when she emerges, Vanessa has left.

The method is fairly effective even if it’s not fun; Charity misses Vanessa and her milky tea and her stories about demanding owners and her dry observations about their neighbours.

But this needs to stop, Charity knows that now. It can’t go on like this. She needs to distance herself from Vanessa, before she starts getting in too deep. She’s too old for heartbreak; too long in the tooth for pining after someone like a teenager on one of Sarah’s soaps.

So on the minibus for Chas’s hen, she ignores Debbie’s squawk of protest and wedges herself in beside her. “Sarah was going to sit there,” Debbie huffs, and Charity shrugs and tries to ignore Vanessa’s disappointed face and Chas’s disapproving one.

*** 

The hiding thing goes well all through the arrival, where Charity snags the only single room available in the cottage, thanking Isaac internally for getting sick with such good timing that Moira had to cancel short notice. 

She manages to dodge Vanessa during the takeaway dinner they all eat around the long table and the games they play after, but when everyone starts moving to the hot tub, and she’s faced with the prospect of having to sit near Vanessa in some sort of skimpy bathing suit, she fakes a headache and escapes to her room. She’s doing well but she’s not a saint.

She lets the smile she’s been forcing on drop from her face as she closes her door and collapses on the bed, sighing deeply.

Despite telling herself it’s for the best, she feels sick. Her heart hurts. Like she’s lost something far beyond great sex a couple of times a week. Which at least confirms that she made the right decision, ending things now. It would only have got worse, this attachment with no future.

There’s a knock on the door but before Charity can tell them to sod off, the handle turns.

“So this is where you’re hiding,” Vanessa says, walking in and dropping a hold-all on the floor.

Charity scrambles to sit up. “What are you doing?”

Vanessa shrugs. “Belle wanted to swap so she can stay with Sarah, and to be honest I’d rather share with you anyway.”

Panicked, Charity looks around. “But there’s only one bed!” she exclaims.

Vanessa laughs. “Oh no, how awful,” she drawls. “Whatever will we do about that.”

This is not at all going to plan. She needs to stand firm. Make a clean cut. “And you didn’t even think to ask me first?” she snaps, feeling a sharp prick of regret as her tone makes Vanessa’s face fall.

“Well, until a couple of days ago I would have been pretty sure you’d be happy about this,” Vanessa replies, voice firm. “But maybe now is a good time to discuss why you’ve been avoiding me all week?”

“What?” Charity manages, not at all convincingly, standing up and crossing her arms defensively.

“Charity, I know we haven’t been close for that long but I like to think I know when something’s wrong.”

Charity snorts, nodding her head. She feels it rising within her, the words that will end them, but she can’t stop them. “Right. Because we’re such good _friends_.”

Vanessa stares at her. “What? Have I done something?”

“What are we doing here, Vanessa?” she asks, raising her voice. 

Looking confused, Vanessa steps forward, reaching for her, but Charity steps out of her reach. She needs to keep a clear head and she can’t think when Vanessa is touching her.

“What do you-“

“I’m not your _friend_.” Charity breathes in deeply, looking down so she doesn’t have to see Vanessa’s face. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“Well of course not, Charity, but-“

“I can’t do this anymore.” It hurts to say it, but once it’s off her chest it feels like a weight has been lifted. “I can’t be just your friend to everyone else and then sleep with you like I’m your dirty little secret no one can know about.” She turns so her back is to Vanessa. “I thought I could do it but I can’t.”

“You’re breaking up with me?” Vanessa asks, voice breaking, and Charity whirls around in disbelief.

“You can’t break up with someone you’re not in a relationship with, babe.” Then she freezes, blood running cold, because there are tears in Vanessa’s eyes. “Vanessa-“

“You know what, you’re right, Charity,” she says, and she sounds pissed off now. “We’re not _just friends_. But you’re the one who kept saying you’re no good at relationships, you don’t want tied down, blah blah blah.”

Charity’s mouth drops open. She had said that, granted, but: “That was ages ago!” she defends herself. “And anyway, you were the one who lied to Tracy about where you were and who you were with when she called you the other week!”

It had been like a slap in the face, hearing Vanessa saying she was alone, driving back from a call out when five minutes earlier Charity’s mouth had been between her legs.

Vanessa’s face falls. “I’m sorry,” she says, her voice a little lower. “I had asked her to watch Johnny and I lost track of time and just felt guilty.”

“For being with me.” Charity fills in the blanks, and even after everything she’s had thrown at her over the years she’s still surprised that Vanessa is the same. 

“No!” Vanessa steps forward again, holding up her palms. “For having fun. For dumping Johnny on her to sneak off with you. You know she’s been having a rough time since Dad died and I didn’t want to rub it in her face.”

That’s not what Charity was expecting, but she was braced for a fight and can’t quite let go of the aggressive tone. “Well, then, why haven’t you told anyone about us?”

“Why haven’t you?” Vanessa replies, and reaches for her again.

This time, Charity lets her take her hand; she’s only got so much power of resistance in herself.

“I didn’t want to jinx it,” Vanessa says softly, looking up at her earnestly. “Charity, I really, really like you. I think you’re incredible. And I want to be with you.”

“Really?” Charity bites her lip. “Like, girlfriend and girlfriend?”

Vanessa steps closer, wrapping her arms around Charity’s waist. “Girlfriends. I like sound of that.” She turns her head up to look at Charity. “Did you really think I thought we were only friends?”

Charity shrugs, trying to pretend like her insecurities haven’t been eating away at her these last couple of days. “Well, you told Rhona you didn’t want to be in a relationship.”

Vanessa screws her face up, pulling back a little. “You mean when she was going through that phase of setting me up with every single bloke Pete knows on every farm in a twenty mile radius?”

Feeling increasingly stupid, Charity tugs Vanessa close again and breathes in, letting the smell of lemon shampoo and Vanessa’s perfume wash over her. “I’ve been daft, haven’t I?”

Vanessa shakes her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise this was upsetting you.” She tilts her head. “I guess I just kind of figured it was obvious how I felt about you.”

Charity’s never been one for big emotional declarations, but even though she feels silly, Vanessa’s words warm her all the way through. “Well, I’m not very good with all this love stuff, so…” 

Vanessa’s eyes go wide, and Charity tries to pull back, realising what she’s said.

“Oh, wait, babe, I didn’t-“

“I don’t know,” Vanessa says, her voice thick with emotion. “I reckon you’re pretty decent at the love stuff, when you stop running away from me.”

The words hang between them, in the room with them, almost ready to come out, and Charity is surprised how not-scared she is by that. She feels ready for it, now Vanessa’s here with. Wants her too. She’s almost giddy with relief, with emotion.

Charity leans down. “Come here,” she whispers and kisses Vanessa , kisses her so thoroughly that she starts making little noises in the back of her throat that always drive Charity wild. 

They stumble to the bed, Vanessa’s hands tugging eagerly at Charity’s top. “We have to be quiet,” Vanessa gasps as Charity kisses her way down her neck. “Chas is next door and I know that we’re telling people now but it might be best not to break the news by traumatising her on her hen do.” 

Charity bites her lip. “Oh babe. About that…”


	9. The Deep End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Rusry1401 on tumblr who asked for:
> 
> I kept thinking of the beginning stage when they just become officially a couple and Vanessa stayed over at Charity's and Moses gets a bit poorly and Vanessa sees Charity acting motherly and it shows this completely new side on Charity... and Vanessa   
realises she is falling maybe a bit more... 
> 
> (This is not exactly what you asked for but it’s as close as my brain could go 😊)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I was like “give me prompts and I’ll write them” back in September? Hahahahaha!
> 
> Anyway I’m back trying to actually finish these. If I haven’t got to yours yet I promise I will try to not get distracted by a four month baking AU again (but no promises).

**The Deep End **

Charity’s wearing red today. 

That’s the first thing Vanessa noticed when she came in earlier. Not where Rhona, who she was meeting, was sitting. Not that her sister and David were at the bar, putting their coats on.

Her eyes had swung over the bar, searching, the minute she pushed the door open, and her heart started thumping in her chest when she saw Charity pulling a pint for Jimmy.

And then Charity had looked up and winked at her. No hello, no pleasantries. Just a wink, and then she’d headed through the back and returned some time later with a box of crisps.

This needs to stop. 

Vanessa hasn’t crushed on anyone this hard in _years_. She feels ridiculous. She spends half her time watching Charity and the rest of the time pretending she’s not.

Until a couple of months ago, she’d barely even exchanged two sentences with Charity that weren’t “Can I have a pint please?” and “What’s the special?”. Honestly, she’d given her very little thought.

But now, she finds herself looking. At the way Charity taps her pencil against her mouth when she’s doing a crossword. At the way she tilts her head back and sighs at the ceiling as she pulls Rishi his pint.

At how tight her jeans are when she walks past to the bathroom.

“…and then Marlon said, “Why don’t you have him this weekend again?” and I don’t think that’s fair, do you? I mean…Vanessa!” Rhona snaps her fingers in front of Vanessa’s face and she jumps. 

“What?”

Rhona sighs. “Have you been listening to a word I’ve been saying?”

Vanessa opens her mouth to say yes, actually, but the words die a death in her throat as Charity suddenly appears at their table, leaning down so that the cleavage revealed by the red shirt comes ever closer to Vanessa. 

“Can I get you ladies anything else?” Charity asks, and the way she says it, smooth and easy like she hasn’t felt Vanessa’s eyes follow her about all evening, makes Vanessa want to kiss the smirk off her face, right here in front of Rhona.

Instead, Vanessa manages to make eye contact while keeping a respectably straight face. “Didn’t know we got table service now?” she questions as casually as she can manage. 

Charity curls her lip a little. “Only for our most _valued_ customers.”

Rhona stands up, looking a vaguely sick. “I need the loo.”

Vanessa hardly notices her leave the table. She wants to ask how Charity’s been, since she left Vanessa’s bed at sunrise on Sunday, having made Vanessa’s toes curl well into the morning hours.

But they don’t do that kind of small talk, so instead she straightens her shoulders and tries to channel the kind of confidence that Charity has effortlessly. “What time do you finish?” she asks. “Dad has Johnny.”

She leaves the words between them on the table, and a slow, pleased grin spreads across Charity’s face. “I finish at eight.” Then her face falls slightly. “I have Moses, though. He’s been a bit poorly so he’s up in bed.”

“Poor thing.” Vanessa’s eyes narrow in sympathy; a sick toddler is no one’s idea of fun. “Rain check?”

Charity hesitates and glances down for a second, at where she’s rubbing her foot along the floor, and Vanessa knows before she speaks that she’s about to say something that’s going to surprise her.

“If you’re not bothered, you could stay anyway?” She says it as if Vanessa’s decision on the matter is not at all important to her, like she might as well be asking Vanessa which brand of cornflakes she prefers. 

But she did ask, and Vanessa tries not appear too eager. “Yeah, alright.” 

Charity nods, casually enough, but Vanessa can tell she’s pleased by the twitch of her mouth, and the way she twirls a bit of her long hair when she nods at Vanessa before heading back to the bar.

“So,” Rhona says loudly as she reappears at the table, making Vanessa jump, “did you sort out your plans?”

“My plans?” Vanessa plays for time, taking a long sip from her half-empty pint glass. 

Rhona rolls her eyes. “I might not be her biggest fan, but you don’t have to hide it.” She grins sardonically. “Besides, you two aren’t nearly as smooth as you think you are.”

Vanessa wonders if that’s true; if others in the village have noticed them heading to each other’s doors in the darkness and their quick goodbyes in the mornings, when they both try to act like it means nothing.

Maybe Charity isn’t pretending. The thought makes Vanessa feel vaguely sick.

Because despite her best efforts, Charity has wormed her way under her skin. The occasional flash of softness, the briefest of moments where Vanessa thinks she might be seeing the real Charity, are as addictive as any drug she tried in university. 

“I’m not hiding anything,” she says unconvincingly, glancing over to where Charity is laughing with Chas. She’s gorgeous, in a dangerous way. When Vanessa is close to her, she feels like a child, holding their hand to a candle to see how far she can get before it burns her.

*** 

Vanessa hovers awkwardly by the bar when Rhona leaves, not sure whether she should go round to the other door or not, until Charity sees her dithering and rolls her eyes, jerking her head when she’s done and nodding Vanessa to follow her through.

Vanessa blushes even though it’s dead in the pub; a couple of hill walkers at one table and Jai and Eliza at the other, and neither group is paying them any attention. 

The back room, the previously unknown space in which Charity lives, is becoming familiar to her. She knows where to hang her coat, where to leave her shoes. Which stair creeks when she leaves in the morning.

“I’m just going to check on Moses,” Charity whispers when they get to the landing, and nods to her bedroom. “Make yourself at home.”

It’s the first time she’s ever been in Charity’s bedroom alone when she’s been fully conscious. Sometimes Charity will slip out to pee or to make them a brew, but mostly they’ll come together in a tangle of heat which is still beyond anything Vanessa has ever experienced with anyone else, and sometimes they’ll fall asleep still entwined, until the morning tears them out of this secret world they’ve created and pulls them back to reality.

Vanessa takes the moment to peer at the pictures that she’s noticed but never had a chance to examine on previous occasions: Charity with a much younger looking Noah, Charity with baby Moses. A Dingle family photo. A picture of her and Chas in front of the pub. 

She shrugs off her coat, then tugs her jumper over her head too. She doesn’t want Charity to think she’s been snooping, so she sits on the bed, but still can’t help her gaze from wandering.

Charity’s changed the sheets since last time she was here , and the memory of that night makes her flush a little because Charity had made her so wet, had worked her up and up and then taken her there over and over again until Vanessa thought she might pass out. There’d been a distinct wet patch on her side after, and she’d made a grumbling Charity move over so she could plaster herself against her back on the other side.

“Coast is clear, Charity grins as she blows into the room, tugging at her own shirt with an eagerness that makes Vanessa clench her hands around the duvet, because it’s a reminder that Charity wants this just as much as she does. “He’s our like a light.”

Vanessa gets up and bats Charity’s hands away, slowly unbuttoning the rest of her shirt and trailing the tips of her fingers gently along the skin she reveals. “Good,” she whispers. “Then I can take my time with you.”

Charity growls and gently pushes her backwards, and then they’re kissing and falling back into the sheets.

*** 

Vanessa pulls her sticky hand out from between Charity’s legs and rolls off her, feeling Charity’s fingers slip out of her and shivers a little at she feels herself pulse in response.

She falls back onto the side of the bed that has become hers by default; she assumed that first night it was the right one because the other bedside table had a paperback, a pair of reading glasses and a tube of hand cream sitting on it.

“Wait,” Charity rasps out, clearing her throat.

Vanessa hides a smile; she’s glad she’s not the only one who seems to feel like their body is made of jelly after that. It’s ike every time they do this they push each other further, longer, and Vanessa feels like she can hardly catch her breath.

“Lift your head,” Charity directs her, and reaches under Vanessa’s pillow. 

She pulls out a black sleep shirt, so long that on Vanessa it would fall below her knee. She takes it from Charity, a questioning look on her face.

Charity shrugs, like it’s no big deal. “You were cold last time.” She reaches under her own pillow and pulls out her own top, and Vanessa hysterically thinks of them waking up in matching pyjamas and drinking matching cups of tea like an old married couple.

It’s easily the most thoughtful thing Charity has done for her outside of sex, but Vanessa tries not to make a big deal out of it because she knows it’ll make her prickly, defensive. Feelings of any kind always make Charity tense.

So instead, Vanessa simply thanks her and tugs the shirt over her head. But Charity must know she’s pleased because she rolls her eyes.

“I’m just trying to make sure you’re less cold when you cling to me like a limpet,” Charity grumbles, flicking off the light quickly in a way Vanessa knows means she’s embarrassed.

Vanessa grins to herself, slipping down and snuggling into Charity’s back.

And despite her grumbling, she doesn’t pull away.

*** 

It feels like hardly any time later when something wakes Vanessa. It’s still dark, but there’s a change in the room, and with a start she realises that the door is open. 

She’s slept in this room a few nights now, but she doesn’t know all the shadows yet, and so she has to strain to see what it is that’s woken her.

“Mummy,” a little voice says, and she jumps, which startles Charity awake against her. “Mummy?”

“Mmh?” Charity murmurs.

Vanessa bites her lip. She’s never been in this scenario before; never slept with anyone with kids before. Not kids that would come into the room as they slept, anyway.

“Mummy!” Moses says more insistently, stepping closer, and Vanessa feels the sigh leave Charity as she reaches out and flicks on her bedside lamp. 

Moses blinks into the light and clambers onto the bed, then lets out an audible gasp as he realises that there’s someone else there too.

Vanessa feels very awkward and she’s beyond relieved that for once they’re dressed and not sleeping naked.

“What is it, Moses?” Charity pulls herself into an upright position.

He just stares at Vanessa with big eyes.

“Hello,” Vanessa whispers. She smiles at him but he just crawls forward into his mum’s lap and hides his face in her neck, whispering in her ear.

“Oh dear,” Charity replies, and it’s such a soft, gentle tone that Vanessa can’t help but stare in fascination. She feels like she’s collecting all the different versions of Charity and has just seen the rarest creature of all. 

Charity gently feels Moses’s forehead with her hand. “Well, your temperature is back to normal, but you’re maybe still dehydrated if you have a headache.”

“What’s that mean?” he mutters sleepily, clinging to her sleep shirt.

“It means you need to drink some water.” Charity makes to get up but he clings to her harder.

Vanessa quickly tries to shake herself awake and pulls herself upright. “I’ll get a glass.”

Charity gives her a look, then nods. “Thanks.” 

She feels Moses watching her through Charity’s arms, with big, suspicious eyes as she moves past him and tiptoes down the stairs.

For a minute she worries that she’ll meet Paddy, again. Or worse Chas. Or Noah. 

She shudders.

But the clock on the oven reads two in the morning and there’s no one up. She reaches for the cupboard which she’s watched Charity take mugs out of, and takes a glass from the shelf below.

She takes her time up the stairs; she knows when Johnny’s unwell he always clings to her and probably would not take well to a stranger in her bed.

Vanessa hasn’t really considered introducing Johnny to Charity. But it’s been weeks now. Weeks of sleeping with each other. Waking up with each other. The chances are their paths will cross eventually, if her and Charity want to keep doing this more frequently than once or twice a week.

Maybe it’s better to get that over with, so they don’t have this scenario when Johnny has one of his bad dreams and stumbles into her room.

When she reaches the bedroom and hesitantly pushes the door open, Charity is half lying down, Moses fast asleep on her chest, while she gently strokes his head.

It’s such a soft image, so gentle and warm and so different from the heat and passion of earlier, that it almost takes her breath away.

Charity looks up when she comes into the room, and there’s something challenging in her gaze, like she’s daring Vanessa to say something.

“He’s out like a light.” She cups his head with her hand, holding him close. “I’ll keep him here, just in case he wakes up.”

Vanessa steps closer and gently puts down the glass of water. “Do you want me to go?” she says softly, nodding down to Moses and his gently rising and falling chest.

There’s a pause and Vanessa’s stomach drops. She’s disappointed even though it’s completely reasonable. Children come first, after all.

“It’s late,” Charity replies then. Her voice is a little unsure, which is unusual. “Just get back in.”

“Yeah?” Vanessa smiles.

Charity gives her a nod, and rolls her eyes when Vanessa leans across and gives her a gentle kiss. She kisses back though, hand still on Moses’ head, then slides down into a lying position, Moses at the outside of the bed. 

Vanessa moves round and slides into bed behind her. Charity flicks the light out and within minutes her breathing matches Moses’s.

But Vanessa lies there, wide awake. Her mind is racing. She can’t stop thinking about the soft look on Charity’s face as she looked down at Moses. At her gentle voice.

_We’re just two single women who like each other_, she tries to remind herself.

But the way her heart races and the soft feeling in her stomach says something else. 

With a sinking feeling, Vanessa realises that she might be in trouble.


	10. Don’t You Dare Lie To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 14 for chellehardwicks on tumblr: Don’t You Dare Lie To Me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m currently rewatching the early scenes and this is set in early January 2018 (caveat that I only started properly watching Emmerdale later that year so all the mentions of Charity’s backstory are courtesy of google - any errors just think of this as AU 😉)

**14\. Don’t You Dare Lie To Me**

_I need to see you_.

Charity looks down at the message once she’s pressed send, wondering when _ I want to see you_ became _need_.

But right now, she can’t even bring herself to care. Because after the things Debbie said to her yesterday, after the things Tom – no, _Joe Tate_ shouted at her in the street for all to hear, she feels like there’s something poisonous inside her. Something that’s eating her from within, that’s creating a ball of acid in her stomach that makes her feel constantly like she might vomit.

She’s got marks on her palms from where she’s been digging her nails in. They hurt but she still keeps pressing them, because the sharpness of the pain keeps her grounded. Keeps her here, and not back to the place her minds took her in her sleep last night. To where Chris lured her in and then died right in front of her, and she realised that her world was about to come crashing down.

But the very worst of it, worse than her fucked up past rearing its ugly head again, is the way Debbie has been looking at her. 

_You’ve ruined my life, _ that looks says, and it’s true. She has not defence. He played them all, but in the end, her daughter was collateral damage for the mistakes that Charity made in the past.

Debbie’s been shouting and crying on and off all day, and right now she’s in with Sarah to try and explain, but Charity can’t find peace, can’t sit still. She needs something, an outlet. She needs to feel something real, something _good_. She needs someone to look at her and tell her she’s not the worst person in the world.

She needs Vanessa.

Which is _stupid_, because Vanessa is about the furthest you can get from all this mess. Vanessa’s never had someone kill themselves to frame her for their murder. Vanessa’s never shunted step children off to boarding school, or been blamed by said children for their parent’s death. 

Vanessa hasn’t ruined her child’s life over and over again for the past twenty eight years.

Vanessa’s life is untouched by the ugliness that laces its way through Charity’s like arteries of poison, ready to rupture at the slightest nip.

She wouldn’t understand. Or worse, she might look at Charity with that pitying expression she’s seen around the village today. 

Those poor Dingles. Always such disasters.

The dark, painful part of her wants to go over there and pick a fight with Vanessa. Maybe have some really angry sex with her.

But there’s another part, a bigger part, that aches for the other bit. When Vanessa smiles and goes down to make one of her milky teas and brings it to her in bed. When Vanessa asks about her day and laughs at Charity’s stories and sits so close to her that the bare skin of their thighs touches.

Last time, Vanessa absentmindedly played with Charity’s hand while she told her a truly disgusting story about Paddy falling in a pile of manure. She’d stroked her palm with the tip of her index finger; traced the lines and then each finger, then massaged it slowly. Charity doesn’t even think Vanessa realised she was doing it. 

But something about it had made Charity’s breath catch in her throat. She can’t stop thinking about that now, longing for that feeling. 

She’d felt good. Happy. 

Her phone vibrates in her hand. First once, then again. 

_Come over!_ the first message says.

It’s closely followed by a picture of a pot of what looks like tomato soup, captioned with _Just in time for dinner_.

Charity rolls her eyes; Vanessa’s ridiculous. She’s never in all her years of casual lovers had anyone offer her soup before.

Her stomach growls loudly at the thought and she feels her face stretch into a grin. 

She’s an odd one, that Vanessa Woodfield. But there’s something about her…

Before she can even really think it through, Charity’s checking her hair and makeup, doing a quick control of which underwear she has on today (black and red bra, black knickers, it’ll do) and shoving three mint polos in her mouth as a precaution.

She briefly considers telling someone she’s going out, but Moses is with Ross, Noah is at Samson’s and Debbie and Sarah are still in the bedroom Sarah and Jack are sharing, and she doesn’t really want to interrupt that. 

She tugs on her coat, then hesitates. Vanessa’s feeding her dinner. And yeah, it’s only soup, not a five course meal. But she feels a bit weird arriving empty handed.

Sighing, she heads through to the kitchen and digs around until she finds a semi-decent bottle of red.  
Sorted.

She hurries back to the hall and gives her face one last check over.

“Going somewhere?” Debbie’s sharp voice asks from the stairs.

Instinctively, Charity hides the bottle of wine behind her back, and realises almost immediately that that was a grave error.

Debbie narrows her red-rimmed eyes and begins climbing down the stairs towards her. “What’ve you got there?”

“Nothing!” Her voice too shrill, too defensive. “Just a bottle of wine.”

“Hmm.” Debbie scowls. “And where’re you taking that, then?”

“Nowhere!”

Debbie crosses her arms. “Don’t you dare lie to me right now!” Her eyes blaze, and Charity feels her chest clench at having all her daughter’s rage directed at her yet again. “My whole life has just blown up, and you’re sneaking out to get drunk?”

“I’m not!” Charity rubs her nose. The tension headache that was beginning to recede a little at the thought of a little time in Vanessa’s bubble comes back full force. “I was just…I was just going over to see…”

“To see _who?_” Debbie demands. “Are you going to try to seduce Tom - _Joe_ \- again to make this mess better? Or Graham?” 

Horrified, Charity’s mouth drops open. “No!”

“Then who, Mum?” Debbie shouts, now right in front of her. “God, are you and Dad-“

“I was going to Vanessa’s, ok?” Charity says quietly, looking down at her feet.

She doesn’t really know why she hasn’t told anyone about what’s been going on with them. When they first slept together, everyone knew, thanks to Charity’s little announcement in the pub. Chas made a couple of comments, but that was it. They’re all used to Charity’s brief entanglements, after all.

But since then, Charity hasn’t really mentioned it to anyone. She assumes Chas must know; Vanessa’s been hanging her distinctive yellow coat in the hallway before she comes upstairs, but they haven’t discussed it.

A few times she’s almost mentioned it to Debbie. A couple of weeks ago Charity’d asked her to go underwear shopping so she could casually drop it into conversation, maybe. 

Whatever ‘it’ is. Because although it’s casual and everything, no strings and no expectations, it’s good. Charity finds herself looking forward to the evenings at Tug Ghyll, the nights Vanessa follows her through to the back room of the pub and snogs her on the sofa.

There’s a steadiness to Vanessa that she desperately craves. She’s the sole calm, reliable thing in her mess of a life right now. 

And it’s fun. _ She’s_ fun. She makes Charity laugh, something which she feels like she hasn’t done in so long.

“Vanessa?” Debbie says, wind out of her sails. “Woodfield?”

“How many other Vanessa’s do you know?” Charity snaps, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks.

“Didn’t know that was still going on.” Debbie raises her eyebrow, but she doesn’t sound angry. Just thoughtful.

“Well, you don’t know everything about me, do you.” Charity crosses her arms defensively. She feels weirdly exposed, and taken aback by the lack of reaction.

Debbie tilts her head. “Is that what you meant? The other week, when you were going on about lingerie?”

Shrugging, Charity looks down again. No one can make her feel as insecure as Debbie can. “Maybe.”

“Huh.” Debbie nods. “Well, ok. Sorry.”

“That’s it?” Charity lifts her head. “No snarky comments?”

Debbie’s lip quirks a little, and it’s the first semi-positive expression Charity’s seen on her face since they arrived at Jacob’s Fold to find all her things being thrown onto the street. “No. I like Vanessa.”

_Me too_, she almost says, but clamps her lips shut at the last moment. Shouldn’t give the wrong impression about these things. “It’s just a casual thing.” 

“Right.” Debbie’s now properly smirking. “And how often are you _causally_ seeing her at the minute?”

Charity glares but has no comeback; she’s woken up in Vanessa’s bed three times in the last seven days. 

But then Debbie’s face softens a bit. “Well, have a good night.” She hugs her arms around herself. “One of us should, at least.”

Immediately, the guilt floods Charity again. “I don’t have to-“

“No, go.” She gives her shoulder a little shove. “It’s nice, to see you making an effort.”

“What’s that supposed to-“

Debbie reaches around her and opens the door. “Say hi to Vanessa from me.”

Charity stumbles a little on the way out, still not entirely sure what to make of that reaction. Her mind’s still buzzing when she finds herself face to face with Vanessa’s door.

“Was beginning to think you were standing me up,” Vanessa says with an easy smile when she opens up, then frowns when she takes in Charity’s expression. “What’s wrong?”

Charity shakes her head, trying to clear the fuzz in her mind. “Nothing. Just family drama.”

Vanessa bites her lip. “I heard there was a bit of a scene yesterday. Is Debbie ok?”

Charity sighs. Of course, the village rumour mill has reached Vanessa.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” She looks up, surprised. Vanessa smiles at her softly. “But I’m here if you do.”

Talking about family problems doesn’t really seem like something you do with someone _casual_. Rationally, Charity knows that.

But she there’s this urge inside her, to put it all out there. The whole mess of her life, and show Vanessa the dirt, if only to see whether she’d shy away like everyone else normally does.

Maybe she won’t, though. That thought is almost scarier than the alternative. That maybe, Vanessa really is different.

It’s all too much to think about right now. The last few days have made her feel like she’s been run over by a combine harvester, and all she really wants is a moment of calm in Vanessa’s arms.

And it seems like Vanessa can sense it, because she steps closer, gently taking the bottle of wine and setting it on the coffee table before leaning in for a soft kiss.

Immediately, the loudness in her mind quiets, and she breathes a sigh of relief. This is fine. This is ok. This is easy. 

“You alright?” Vanessa asks with a smile as they pull apart.

“Yeah,” she replies. She is, at least for now.


End file.
